


Slow Sounds Good

by paper_back_writer



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood is Good With Kids, Alec and Lydia are getting divorced, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Aromantic Raphael Santiago, Background Ragnor Fell/Catarina Loss, Closeted Alec Lightwood, Construction Worker Alec Lightwood, Derogatory Language, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Itty bit of angst but not too much, M/M, Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell Friendship, Magnus Bane and Ragnor Fell are Brothers, No cheating! Promise, POV Alternating, Past Domestic Violence, Previous Alec/Lydia, Sebastian Verlac (mentioned) - Freeform, Sex Work, Slow Burn, Smut, Teacher Magnus Bane, Tessa virtue - Freeform, When I say slow burn I mean to admit their feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:04:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper_back_writer/pseuds/paper_back_writer
Summary: “Come on. Come sit with me. We can start with something easy. I meant what I said y’know?” He ducked his head and succeeded in catching Alec’s reluctant eye. “I’ll take very good care of you. We’ll go slow. Just talk for a while. How does that sound?”Alec nodded. It was slight at first, then more assertive. “Slow sounds good.”---Magnus takes on a client for some quick money. He gets Alec.Two men. Neither is exactly as they seem. It takes a year for both of them to realize who they really are and what they really want.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 221
Kudos: 165





	1. East wind melts the ice.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure...this is an original fic that I'm writing as a serial which I stalled out on last year for reasons and am trying to get back into.  
Of course, reading it back it's so Malec I thought, why not? Some things are way off canon - I'm using Matthew's age not Alec's, Magnus is not in the same financial position, there are lots of non-canon characters etc.  
I have some written (obvs) and will probably post once (or twice) a week for now.  
Chapters are short, one scene/encounter, but there'll be a lot of them.  
I'll add tags/notes as I go.  
If you want to read the original fic version you can sign up to my newsletter irl.  
Unbeta'd.  
Alec uses some problematic language regarding sex workers and his own orientation. His opinions are not mine. He's a made up person who's learning to be better. I hope you cut him some slack.  
Uh...I think that's it. Enjoy!

The wind was brisk but at least not bitter as it had been for the last month or so. Winter was coming to a close, the last of the ice melting in the shadows where the hazy light never quite reached it. There was something about Central Park when spring was on the way, like you could hear the whole city breathing a sigh of relief that the winter was over before it started to brace itself for the cloying summer heat.

The heat was a long ways off though and Magnus was starting to think that maybe he should have said he’d meet the guy in a coffee shop instead of in the freezing cold. He was trying to read while he waited, some text that he needed to review by the end of the semester, but it was getting harder and harder to concentrate on the page. Mostly because of the cold seeping through the thick pea coat he’d picked up over Christmas break, but also as doubt was starting to niggle in his brain again.

This might not have been the smartest _plan_ but he was smart and he was _being_ smart. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. Public place, emergency number on speed dial in his pocket, Raphael knowing where he was and who he was meeting. Smart. Except he didn’t feel smart.

Footsteps slowed as they went past. Again. The same scuffed Doc Marten’s that had walked past a couple of times in the last twenty minutes. This time they stopped, walked over, and the bench creaked as the owner sat as far away from Magnus as they could.

Magnus sighed, smiling a little at the nervousness emanating his way, but also getting it. He felt a little unsure himself. Closing his book, he placed it on the bench between them as he leaned back. And waited. It paid off.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I just…”

Magnus smiled and adjusted his scarf. “It’s okay. Really.” He turned slowly to face his companion and was pleasantly surprised. A thousand things had gone through his mind since answering the guy’s email. They hadn’t talked about looks. In this situation it didn’t really matter. Magnus had been prepared for some middle-aged, fat, bald guy with bad skin and bad breath. But what he was looking at was…okay. Better than okay. Young, thick dark hair, dark eyes with long lashes, something Italian maybe in the complexion and the mouth. He was dressed for warmth, in a worn jacket over a clean hoodie. The jeans were worn too, but not fashion wear; good, honest degradation.

The only thing mildly troubling about the guy was the anxious look on his face. He looked like he was tearing himself up inside. “Should I…do I…?” He started to pull a thin roll of twenties from his pocket, wincing when Magnus grimaced and held up his hand discretely.

“Not here.” He thought about just walking away. The guy could be a cop. And even if it wasn’t, the poor man looked kind of conflicted about the whole situation. “Look, why don’t we go somewhere a little warmer? Talk things over?”

There was a beat while the guy thought it through, only giving the slightest nod of his head when he was done. Magnus nodded back, then got to his feet. He didn’t look behind him as he walked away, trusting that his nervous companion would follow.

It wasn’t far enough to Raphael's place to catch a cab but far enough that Magnus was feeling warmer even before he opened the door to the apartment and strolled in.

“This your place?”

Magnus was a little flattered that the guy thought he could afford somewhere so expensive and smiled to himself at the compliment. That and the fact his date’s voice was warm and deep and genuinely curious. Unfortunately for him, all Magnus said was, “It is for the next hour. You wanna a drink?”

The guy shook his head. “No, I—No, thank you.” He’d slipped off his outer layers and was clutching them to his chest as he stood in the center of the open plan space. There was something totally adorable about it, something deliciously innocent and awkward and Magnus prayed to god it wasn’t an act and that the guy wouldn’t turn out to be a serial killer.

He shrugged and walked slowly to his strange new friend, gently taking hold of the coats and drawing them from his hands. “Well, in that case, you wanna get started?” There was no answer, only eyes wide as saucers. “Why don’t we start with something easy? What would you like me to call you?”

“A-Alec is fine.”

“Okay, Alec. I’m Magnus. Unless you’d prefer something else?”

The question seemed to leave Alec confused, until embarrassment superseded it. “Magnus is fine. I like Magnus.”

“Let’s hope so.” Magnus hoped it would lighten the mood but if anything Alec seemed more nervous so he tried a different tack. “Why don’t you tell me what else you like and then we can see about making that happen?”

Alec’s head dropped. “Jesus.” His voice was breathy and surprisingly emotional. “I-I’ve never done this before.”

Magnus stepped a little closer, hoping the expensive cologne he was wearing would ease the guy’s mind, or get his little brain with the program. “I’ll take good care of you, I promise.”

“No…I mean…I mean with a…” His eyes stayed fixed firmly on the floor. “A guy. I’ve never…”

“Oh,” Magnus said. Then, “Ooh…” His brain fizzed like he’d stuck his finger in a socket and hoped the shock didn’t show in his face. The guy must have been in his early thirties and was only now taking time out to experiment or…what? “Not ever? Not even a kiss? A drunken fumble?”

Alec took a step back, his eyes still plastered to his shoes. Magnus didn’t need to see his face to see the flush of embarrassment, or shame maybe, that had come over him.

Magnus reached out, taking one of Alec’s hands that were clenched at his side, and gently worked his fingers into the fist that immediately opened like a flower. Magnus liked the feel of them immediately. The thick fingers were calloused and rough, a stark contrast to his own slender, soft ones. He wanted to ask if Alec was in construction, a carpenter maybe, but erred on the side of something safer as he drew Alec towards the large leather couch. “Come on. Come sit with me. We can start with something easy. I meant what I said y’know?” He ducked his head and succeeded in catching Alec’s reluctant eye. “I’ll take very good care of you. We’ll go slow. Just talk for a while. How does that sound?”

Alec nodded. It was slight at first, then more assertive. “Slow sounds good.”


	2. The nightingale sings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec's POV

“You got a minute?”

Alec cursed as his finger—the one which had been hovering over the send button—flexed on instinct and the noise of the email being sent pinged in his ears.

“Bad time?” Jace grimaced, as he hung on the door frame of the flimsy cabin that served as a site office.

_Yes!_ Alec wanted to say as he waved Jace in from the cold. _Yes, it damn well is!_ His chest ached with embarrassment and prayed to god Jace couldn’t see it.

Taking a deep breath, Alec closed the window on his laptop. “No, you’re good. What’s up?” he said, sighing and leaning back in the uncomfortable plastic chair. The room was hardly glamorous, and only marginally warmer than being out in the yard, with only slightly less mud.

“The replacement pump they brought in? That one’s not working either.” Jace shrugged and tried to look like he wasn’t about to throw in the towel as he pushed his gloved hands deep into the pockets of his thick coat.

Alec sighed and pulled his cell from his jacket pocket, starting to flick through his contacts as he muttered, “I swear to god, those fucking guys are doing this on purpose.”

“You want me to send the boys home for the day?”

Alec shook his head. “No. No, spread them out on the framing as best you can this afternoon. Maybe if we can get ahead on that then we can double up and get the drainage sorted tomorrow if we can get a new pump in. Otherwise, we can send then over to Whiteplains. I think Gary could use some extra hands.”

Jace replied with a nod, adjusted his hard hat, and disappeared as the door banged closed.

Alec took another deep breath and tried to calm himself. It wasn’t going to help anyone if he yelled at the poor receptionist at the plant company.

He didn’t want to be here today. Didn’t want to have to deal with this shit. Most days he didn’t mind his job. He enjoyed it a lot of the time. But he’d had almost a week to think about other things and it was driving him crazy. About what it felt like to kiss a man, what a man’s mouth felt like on him, and about perhaps how he’d been cheated out of real happiness at every turn in his life.

It had been Jace’s idea, weirdly enough. But then as kid brothers go, Jace had always been a good guy. Admittedly, his suggestion wasn’t exactly, “try browsing Craigslist and see if you can hook up with a male escort just once so you stop acting like a bear with a sore head and making everyone miserable.” Except that’s exactly what had happened.

Alec had been so nervous about the whole sorry situation. He genuinely thought that he might throw up when he saw the guy waiting for him on the bench as they had arranged. It was one thing to email a hooker on the internet, late at night, three beers deep, but in real life it was something else.

But he hadn’t throw up. And the guy in question didn’t turn out to be some sleazy, crackhead whore who was going to steal his wallet. In fact, he’d looked more like a model than anything else, and had been sweet and understanding, with a grip like a strap wrench and the softest lips Alec had ever experienced.

He told himself it was going to be a one time thing. Just so that he could get this itch out of his system. So that he could know once and for all that all these feelings he’d had all his life meant nothing. Except it hadn’t quite worked out that way.

After the initial exhilaration, and the subsequent guilt, mostly Alec felt in awe of the whole experience. It could have gone much much worse but Magnus handled his virginal nervousness with kindness and just the right amount of encouragement. And sure, for the first few nights afterwards, alone in his room, Alec had happily jerked off to the memory of Magnus unzipping him, holding him, and stroking him until he came with a surprised gasp and the tear that Magnus quickly wiped away. But then the memory wasn’t enough.

Alec had written the email in much the same state as when he first opened the personal ads—drunk and maudlin—and had never really intended to send it. What he’d written was a bit sappy, saying how much he’d enjoyed his time and would like more if Magnus had any appointments free. Christ, he even added his phone number so that they didn’t have to communicate where anyone could see it. Which was crazy being that the guy must get a ton of creepy messages from desperate losers everyday.

Perhaps if Alec hadn’t clicked the damn send button by accident, he might never have sent it. He’d only been reading the email through, toying with the idea of sending it without intending to, like he had for almost a week. But now, thanks to Jace, the decision had somewhat been taken out of his hands. Alec would have quite happily gone on reading it ‘one last time’ for the next two months or more, persuading himself that he’d be ruining a good thing by going back; that Magnus might not be so perfect second time around. And he was just starting to believe it too.

Alec shook his head at no one when the text tone on his cell phone roused him. All his fretting and pining meant nothing ultimately. Magnus sold his body for money at the end of the day. Alec could do better.

He’d expected the text to be Gary bitching about the delivery they were expecting, or Jace letting him know how it was going out in the cold, or even Lydia reminding him to pick up Bonnie up from school. But it wasn’t.

It was a number he didn’t know.

_Hey Alec. It’s good to hear from you. I’m booked the rest of this week. How does next Tuesday sound? Same time? You can meet me at the apartment. Just say the word. M._

Yeah, he could probably do better. But for now, Alec thought Tuesday sounded pretty good.


	3. Fish emerge from the ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with bonus chapter art!  
I think I'm going to try to update Tuesdays and Fridays for now and see how that goes.  
Also, I promise the Explicit warning is warranted...it's just they won't always be in the same room so...yeah.  
Oh and thanks for the comments and the love! It's really appreciated so much ♥

Magnus smiled at the text on his phone as he sprawled on the couch at Raphael’s place. Not the swanky apartment he used for clients—which probably cost more to rent than Magnus made in a year. No, the place where Raphael slept and ate when he was off the clock was much more discreet; a modest one bed with a small kitchenette in a much less expensive part of town. 

All Raphael’s personal things were there; his trophies from high school that his mom had brought over in an old cardboard box the day he moved in, the much-loved couch covered in colorful afghans that his grandma had knitted him, old pictures frames hung haphazardly on the walls showing vacations, holidays with friends and family, shots his sister had taken of Raphael with his arm slung over Magnus's shoulder pulling faces at the camera, and Raphael’s old dog lazing in the sun. It was the only place where Raphael ever wore sweatpants, let alone admit to owning any. It was cosy and comfortable and Magnus was pretty sure he was the only person who knew what Raphael did for a living who was allowed inside.

They often hung out there, watching TV or eating together. It was a hell of a lot nicer than Magnus’s current digs. Plus, it reminded them both of sharing a room at college, before life got complicated and their paths diverged. Some things hadn’t changed though. Tonight was their traditional post-Valentine commiseration evening, complete with Chinese food and some action movie trash. Raphael, of course, had been on a date the night before except it was with a client that he was getting tired of but who paid over the odds for his company so he hadn't exactly had a fun time. Magnus, in comparison, had fallen asleep on his couch about eight-thirty with pasta sauce on his shirt. They couldn’t decide who’d had the worse evening but were determined that egg rolls and cocktails could fix anything.

Netflix was paused on the flatscreen, while Raphael paced around in the kitchenette, yammering on his cell. Magnus had been staring at the distorted, frozen face on the screen for what seemed like forever while Raphael dealt with whatever emergency was interrupting them this time. So when Magnus’s cell had beeped, it was a blessing. And the smile that came over him wasn’t so much at the content of the message but the formality of it. The serious tone struck Magnus as funny, given what he was arranging with the sender. 

A couple of weeks ago he wouldn’t have felt so relaxed about getting propositioned by a complete stranger. Except, Alec didn't feel like a stranger exactly. A guy generally became more of an acquaintance once you’d had your hand on his junk. Plus, the half-bottle of booze in his system was probably helping Magnus to see the funny side too. Thank God he didn’t have any classes until the following afternoon.

It had been a little surprising to get the email from Alec wanting a second session the week before. Magnus was less surprised when Alec had cancelled at the last minute on Tuesday but then when he wanted to reschedule, Magnus was okay with it. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't give anyone a second chance. The last thing Magnus needed was somebody messing with his head and chewing up his free days. But there was something about Alec that gave Magnus the impression he wasn’t the sort to play games and didn't want to waste Magnus’s time by cancelling unless it was genuinely important. Alec just didn’t seem the type. He was too earnest and sweet, and even though he still sounded apprehensive in his messages, Magnus was pretty damn sure he wanted the sex more than he was scared to turn up at the apartment again.

Raphael signed off and Magnus tipped his head back against the couch to look over at him. “Everything okay?”

Sighing, Raphael walked over to the coffee table to refresh his drink. “Yeah, just one of the boys has a date at the apartment and the client turned up with a _friend_.”

“Shit. Do you need to go over there?” 

Raphael laughed and shook his head. “Nah, it’s Brian, the one with the big…” They both made the same obscene gesture. “He just wanted to make sure I knew the score, tell the asshole not to do it again...and make sure I bill the guy for a double.”

Magnus hmmed at looked back down at his phone when it beeped again.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Nothing.” Magnus clicked the screen dark to keep Raphael from peeking.

Flopping down onto the couch next to him, Raphael scoffed. “You know if you want more clients, I’ve got work coming out of my ass.”

“Ew. I didn't need that imagery. And no thanks. I appreciate you sending this guy my way but no more.”

Raphael clapped his hands together and glared over at him. “I knew it. You sneaky bastard. I thought you said he cancelled on you?”

“He did…but," Magnus sighed and hung his head. "I told him we could reschedule.”

Raphael laughed. “I can’t believe it! You’ve got a regular! What happened to ‘Just this once, Raphael’, huh?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus scratched his chin. “He was sweet. And he paid me more than he should have. And I do kinda need the money.”

“I’m serious about the work, Magnus.” Raphael grabbed his phone and stated scrolling through his appointment book. “I got a bunch of guys off sick with the flu, and there’s a conference coming into town next week—”

“No! God, no,” Magnus laughed. “I’m not doing it. Or them. I’ll take this closet case off your hands until he’s ready to get laid with the lights on, but no more. I’ve got enough on my plate right now.”

Raphael’s attitude softened a little, as did his tone. “You’re not a social worker, Mags. This client’s not a friend either. Don’t forget that.”

“I know, I know. You think I’d forget?” Magnus frowned at the way Raphael’s eyebrows said _yeah...you have before_. “Whatever. I know you’re just thinking of me—”

“And the money.”

“Yes, let’s not forget the money.” Magnus rolled his eyes. “But I’m okay. And I’ll be okay.”

Raphael scrutinized him in the way he’d done when he’d tried to convince Magnus he had psychic powers when they got high together the first time in college. After a second or two, Raphael relaxed back and put his cell back in his pocket. “Alright. But if you need anything you just have to ask me, okay?”

Magnus smiled fondly. “Okay.”

Raphael nodded and said, “Okay then,” as he reached for the remote.

“Raphael?” Magnus murmured in his most seductive tone, as Bruce Willis came to life on the screen and the sound of gunfire filled the room.

Raphael turned to Magnus and gave him his $4000 a night smile. “Yes, honey?”

“Can I use the apartment on Monday? I have a date.”


	4. Rain moistens the soil

It was cold out on the street but Alec’s hands were sweating as he pushed the buzzer for Magnus’s apartment. Or whoever’s apartment they were using. Alec had been trying not to think too much about who might be pulling Magnus's strings or the parade of men passing through the place, the bodily fluids spilled on every surface or the roll of tens in his pocket. He felt like a criminal. Which he probably was. But worse, he felt so damn guilty. Using someone’s body for sex like some creep. As he stood there, disgust leeched into his bones and brought the icy wind with it.

When the buzz came to tell him he could open the door, Alec almost didn’t go in. For a split second, he considered walking away, putting this whole thing behind him. But the pang of panic that lanced through him at the idea of not seeing Magnus again was just too much and he barged into the lobby before it was too late. He’d already cancelled his appointment once and the idea of missing out, even for a minute…well, he might feel guilty about using Magnus, but not that guilty.

Any bad feelings were washed away as soon as the man in question opened the door and Alec saw the, seemingly genuine, warm and inviting smile on Magnus's face. Alec wasn’t sure how he could have forgotten how beautiful the guy was after just two weeks, and even more so today, being that he looked like he’d just stepped out of the shower. His hair was damp but pushed back from his face and semi-styled, and he was barefoot which made Alec half-hard before he was even in the door for some reason. Other than that, Magnus was wearing dark jeans, kohl around his eyes, and a dark shirt that was open revealing a glimpse of the gold chain resting against his smooth chest when he moved. Edible, in other words. But it was the smile that took Alec’s breath away. At least, it sure as hell did something to his brain as he almost forgot how to put one foot in front of the other when Magnus stepped back to let him in.

“Hey, you,” Magnus said sounding genuinely pleased to see him. “Come in and get warmed up. You look frozen.”

Alec nodded and finally got his stuttering limbs to move, even if his mouth wasn’t quite ready to start working yet.

The room was warm and bright considering how gloomy the day outside had been. It helped a lot that the apartment was so high end. If it weren't for the stacks of porn films under the TV or the baskets of lube and condoms placed strategically about the place like potpourri, it could easily be mistaken for a show home. Being there again seemed unreal, or like a dream; divorced enough from his reality that Alec felt his shoulders instantly relax, knowing that he could be someone else for a little while. Or rather let down the barrier he'd forged as a teenager and be himself finally.

Slowly, Alec unbuttoned his coat and unzipped the layer beneath, sliding out of his outerwear, even though he hadn’t move from his position by the door.

Magnus watched him from under his lashes at the kitchen counter as he poured coffee from a french press into two mugs. “You know you can come in, right?”

Nodding slightly, Alec tried to smile. His mouth really wasn’t playing ball but he walked to the breakfast bar as confidently as he could. He wasn’t nervous exactly. Although, that semi-salacious smirk on Magnus’s face wasn’t helping any. Mostly, Alec was embarrassed. Not only about the things they had done together the last time he was in that apartment, but of all the things he’d imagined doing since. He'd had spent his whole life trying to persuade himself that he wasn’t a pervert. Seems one taste of Magnus had proven he most definitely was, given some of the scenarios he'd managed to come up with.

He stuffed his coats onto one of the bar stools—which was easier said than done—and sat down on another when Magnus slid one of the mugs over to him. Magnus took a sip of his coffee, then asked, like it was perfectly normal, “How was your week?”

Huffing out a laugh, Alec was suddenly struck by the ridiculousness of it all. Wrapping his hands around the warm porcelain, he shook his head. “You know you don’t have to be nice to me.”

Magnus’s eyebrows peaked but he looked more amused than offended. “Really? You’d prefer me to be mean? I can do mean. I have equipment and everything. You might be tall but I'm pretty sure I could get you over my knee.”

Alec looked up, shocked and about to set Magnus straight—he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. That was until he saw the tight little smile, and the tease in Magnus’s eyes. He laughed out a sigh of relief. “No, I don’t mean…I'm just saying, I’m—I’m paying you, so…”

His words dried up when Magnus leaned forward on the counter, placing one forearm down at a time and folding his hands together, then ducked his head so Alec’s gaze had no choice but to find Magnus’s kind eyes.

“You’re right. You’re paying me. But as far as I’m concerned you’re not paying me for sex. Or not just for that. I’m here to make you feel good. Whatever that takes. You want to sit and talk? We can do that. You want me to shut the hell up and fuck my mouth for the hour? We can do that too. Last time you said you wanted to try being with a man to see if you liked it? Is that still what you want?”

Alec nodded, mortified to hear his own words spoken back to him. But Magnus only straightened up and took up his coffee up again. “Well then. We’ll do that. But I can skip the small talk if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

Alec shrugged like he didn't much care one way or the other, even though he suddenly found himself caring a whole lot. In an effort to stall and get his head straight, he sipped his coffee. It was good. “My week was fine.”

Magnus’s warming smile was instant. “Oh dear. Only fine?” He set his coffee mug on the counter, and reached over to one of the baskets there. Rifling through the assortment, he pulled out a red packet. “Let’s see if we can’t make it at least good, shall we?”

When Magnus rounded the counter and came to stand in front of him, flicking the condom in his hand back and forth, his shirt falling open a little, Alec’s mouth went dry. It took everything he had to swallow, and croaked out, “Good would be nice.”

Magnus huffed out a laugh. He took Alec’s free hand and placed it on his bare chest. His muscles shuddered under Alec’s touch as he pushed it down, making Alec's fingers graze over his pec, Magnus's hard nipple slipping between Alec's fingers as he traveled down to Magnus's tight stomach. “Darling, if I can only manage nice, I think I’ll have to give your money back.”

As Alec watched Magnus go to his knees, his breath shuddered out of him, already knowing that was never going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahahaha!  
I'm not a cock-block, I swear. These things just wrap up [pun intended] where they wrap up, I'm afraid. Actual smut will be along in a couple of chapters but until then you'll have to put up with plot and character development...crap like that.  
Also...I fear some of you may be on to me 😉 Yeah, if you haven't read my stuff before, I do like a plot twist or, at least, starting out with things being not being quite what they seem. Hopefully, it's endearing and not annoying. Anyway. See you Tuesday!


	5. Mist Starts to Linger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more Magnus ♥

A sinking feeling expanded slowly in Magnus’s chest as he watched the metal coil behind the glass turn and turn, then…nothing. The bag of chips wobbled, slumped to one side, but did not fall, merely opting to dangle precariously from its snug little place in the vending machine.

Groaning, Magnus let his head fall forward and banged his forehead against the glass a couple of times before letting it resting there in defeat.

“You can’t be in despair yet. It’s only February.”

Magnus rolled his head to one side to find Clary standing at his shoulder, clutching a couple of over-stuffed binders to her chest, the same slightly smug grin she always wore on her slightly smug face. Not that Magnus disliked his co-worker. She was the closest thing he had to a friend at the college. But everyone, including Clary, knew that she led some kind of charmed life, where nothing went wrong and everyone loved her. Magnus had tried to hate her but there was no way. The woman was too frigging nice.

“I can and I will,” Magnus growled back, but his tone only made Clary roll her eyes. Stepping closer, the redhead slapped the side of the vending machine and Magnus’s bag of chips effortlessly plunged to the trough below. And, because it was Clary, the bag managed to dislodge a Snickers bar along the way too. Typical.

Magnus had to huff out a laugh as he bent to retrieve his prize. “Thanks, Biscuit. That was the last of my change.” He held out the chocolate bar to her. It only seemed fair but Clary held up her hand and shook her head. Magnus wasn’t surprised. He had a sneaking suspicion, with her figure, not much passed those lips but kale and leprechaun tears.

“Nah, I’m good thanks. I didn’t really do anything.”

“Yeah, well, I should probably stop using this damn machine. That’s the third time it’s eaten my money this week. I’ve even tried bashing it but it never seems to work for me.”

“You’ve just got to find the sweet spot. I can show you if you'd like?”

Magnus shook his head at the gesture she was making over her shoulder. “I should just start bringing my lunch with me like a grown up. Or maybe use the machine on the third floor instead.” He adjusted the satchel strap lying across his chest and started to walk back to his office. Clary fell into step next to him.

“Please don’t tell me that’s all you're having for lunch.”

“Alright, I won’t tell you.”

Clary rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath, but didn’t say anything when Magnus popped open the packet of chips and dug right in. At least, not right away. “Hey, don’t take this the wrong way but—are you okay?”

Frowning, Magnus looked over at Clary as he chewed, but her sweet face looked serious. “I’m fine.” Magnus managed to get the words out without spraying Clary with potato, even though he felt genuinely confused by the question.

“Tell me to butt out if you want but you’ve just seemed different. Since the start of the semester, I mean”

“Different, how?” Magnus asked, keeping his tone level and confident, despite the pang of panic that hit his gut. He certainly felt fine and didn't think he'd been acting any differently. Especially as the only thing that was different in his life was a semi-regular appointment with a certain thirty-something virgin, and the resulting fantasies that he was jerking off to before he fell asleep every night. Currently one recollecting the pleasure of sucking off said guy a few days before—the weight of his perfect smooth cock on his tongue, the silky slide of his head as it brushed the back of his throat, the musky taste of him and the guttural noise that was more like a growl Alec made when he came. It wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to forget any time soon.

On the other hand, having his co-workers know anything about his private life was another matter. Not that Clary or anyone else he knew would care about him being with a guy; Magnus was hardly in the closet. But the fact that money was changing hands with this particular man…that mattered. Mattered in a way that could mean Magnus losing his job. His career. His—everything.

“I don’t know,” Clary mused. “You're more relaxed, generally, but then sometimes, like now, you seem really on edge.”

Magnus scowled without really meaning to. He could feel lines appear on his face, deep chasms of worry he sometimes saw when he caught his reflection in a window or chrome surface. “You know I hate it when you try to psych me.”

“Maybe,” Clary smiled and leaned a little closer, dropping her voice, “Or maybe you’re just mad that I discovered your little secret.”

Magnus didn’t scream or fall into a dead faint but the effort of appearing nonchalant about Clary’s potentially career-threatening discovery made him feel like doing both of those things.

This was the moment he’d dreaded. It was one of the reasons he’d stopped hooking in college even though he’d ended up having to get two jobs to make half the money. It was partly why he’d taken up studying gender and sexuality, just so that he could down lay any ghosts from his less-than-legal past to rest as “research” rather than a job in and of itself. He wasn't ashamed but he knew damn well the school system wouldn't be so liberal. This was the moment, the moment when his life, and career came crashing down around his ears, when someone uttered the words—

“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?”

Magnus held his breath, too stupefied to be relieved. “What?”

Clary smiled. “You are, aren’t you? Come on. Spill. I’ve seen those secret little smiles on your face as you stare off into the mid-distance. You really want to keep it to yourself?”

Magnus gaped like a fish. Maybe it would be easier to just agree but if he did that Clary would never let it go. And she had a way of getting things out of people. Magnus was sure he’d screw up any poorly thought-out lie eventually.

“I’m not seeing anyone.”

Clary scoffed. “Sure you’re not. Come on. Is it a faulty member?” Magnus grimaced at the thought. Clary did too. “No, you’re right.” She thought for a moment. “Oh God, it’s not a student is it?”

Magnus rounded on her, stopping them in their tracks, hissing, “Jesus Christ, Clary. No!”

Clary shrugged. “Hey, I’m not judging. And don’t look at me like that. Hell, if old Markham can get pensioned off for it when he’s eighty-seven, anyone can. And I bet you have a queue of freshmen just lining up to get their hands on your—”

“Sometimes, I wonder why we’re friends at all.” Magnus turned and started to walk away.

Clary had to jog a little to catch up. “It’s not my fault you’re keeping secrets.”

“I’m not keeping secrets,” Magnus lied. Except it wasn’t really a lie. “Aren’t I allowed a little privacy?”

“Ha! So you are seeing someone?” The smug smile was back on Clary’s face and Magnus wondered again why he didn’t hate the girl.

“No. I mean—” Magnus sighed and looked at his sneakers. _Actually, I’m having sex with a man for money and the fact that he’s sweet and funny and beautiful and maybe I look forward to it is completely coincidental. It’s simply a business arrangement—that makes me smile when I think about it_. “I’m not seeing anyone. Believe me. Why would I lie about that?”

Clary regarded him in that way she had that made Magnus wonder if it was something they taught in Advanced Psych to freak people out. As if Clary was looking directly into his brain.

“Shame,” Clary said, finally. “I could do with some romance in my life, even if it is vicarious.”

“You’re married.”

“Exactly!” Clary beamed.

She looked so pleased with herself that Magnus had to laugh. “Well, on the slim chance that I do meet someone, I promise to regale you with all the sordid details. Happy?”

Clary sighed dramatically. “I suppose I can wait.” A buzzing came from her pocket and she scooped out her cell and turned off the alarm without looking at it. “Ugh. I told Parker I’d sub for him next week. You wanna take it for me instead?”

Magnus laughed. “No, thank you.”

“I didn’t think so.” Clary sighed. “I better go meet the old goat then so he can walk me through Persuasive Speaking 202, and see if I can get excited about it.”

“Good luck with that.” Magnus smiled.

Clary pointed at him as she backed away. “I’m counting on you to break the monotony by regaling me with your adventures in dating.”

Magnus shook his head and was tempted to flip her the finger but he figured he was already in enough trouble. Seeing Alec was risky, but he’d known that from the moment Raphael had suggested it. That first time it had been all about the money. He’d need some quick cash to tide him over and it made sense at the time. Now he had to weigh up whether it was worth going on with it. His position at the less than prestigious college might not be the most glamorous job but he liked it and it was the only teaching position he could get with his qualifications and experience. Deciding if he wanted to risk that over one john shouldn’t have made him wrestle with himself quite so much. It should be a no-brainer and yet he found himself baffled at why he was struggling with the idea of letting Alec go.

The thought kept swirling around his head as he trudged back to his cramped little office. By the time he got there and saw the hunched figure sat on the floor outside his door, Magnus still hadn’t made up his mind.

“Everything okay, Sarah?”

Sarah jumped up, books and crumpled pages falling from her lap as she did so. “Oh crap. I mean—I’m sorry, Mr Bane. I know I don’t have an appointment and I wasn’t even sure if you had office hours today, I just—”

“It’s fine. I don’t, but it’s fine.” Magnus slipped the key into the lock and tried not to audibly sigh. “Still, having trouble with that assignment, huh?”

The girl nodded, or at least her pink hair flopped about under her raised hood. Magnus smiled and held open the door. “Come in, then. Let’s see if we can’t get one of us back on track.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn't going to make Clary's significant other...significant, but now I'm wondering—actually, best wait for the next ch to decide that 😉  
See you Friday! ♥


	6. Grass Sprouts, Trees Bud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we find out a little more about Alec.
> 
> Also, this chapter is one of the main reasons this story became a Malec fic. Reading back my original, all I could hear was Matt's voice in this ♥ His accent kills me and I knew it would just be perfect.  
_Also_, also, this is one of my favorite chapters so far.  
**Also**, also...tags are updated jsyk. Let me know if there's anything you think I should add.  
Hope you enjoy ♥

“What are you doing?”

Alec glanced over to the passenger seat. “What? My driving not good enough for you now?”

There was a look of suspicion on Jace’s face as he slumped at an awkward angle, balled up like a wad of paper in the corner of the truck in his big winter coat. He’d done the same thing since he was a little kid. It looked to most people like he was tired and looking to nap. But Alec knew better. Knew a thing or two himself about staying out of reach. “You’re whistling.”

Alec shrugged. “So?” The lights ahead changed and he slowed to a stop before looking over again. “What? I’m not allowed to whistle in my own truck now?”

Jace looked back out the windshield and yawned. “I guess I’d just gotten used to you being a sourpuss in the mornings. And the afternoons. Oh wait, and the evenings too.” He looked around, his eyes wide and a look of comic surprise on his face that made Alec laugh and slap playfully at his head.

He missed, of course, and then the lights were green again and the morning traffic eased its way along once more.

Alec couldn’t deny it. He was feeling much better than he had done in a long time. A few weeks ago, if they had hit this patch of slow traffic, Alec knew that he would have been cussing and blinding and making Jace’s life a misery; not whistling a merry fucking tune.

“I take it you got laid.”

Alec’s lungs stopped working for a second and he had to swallow before he could answer. “None of your business.”

“Which is a yes,” There was amusement in Jace’s voice. “So, what’s she like then?”

_Just shy of six feet, brown eyes, not quite a six pack but not far off, cut, with mouth like a vacuum and charges $250 an hour._ “It’s nobody special.”

Jace frowned. “Yeah, right.”

Alec was almost offended. “What the fuck is that suppose to mean?”

Jace shrugged. “It’s just—I can’t see you, of all people, doing the casual sex thing. If you’re fucking someone it’s gonna be serious.”

Alec tried to think of a comeback that didn’t make him sound like he was protesting too much but had nothing. Instead, he just scoffed and braked a little harder than he should have, making his brother lurch forward in his seat.

“I mean,” Jace said casually, like he hadn’t noticed he'd just nearly brained himself on the glove box. “You’ve dated three women in your entire life, all of which were in high school, and never even once looked at anybody else when you’ve been with them.”

“So what? Adam married his high school sweetheart.”

Jace laughed. “Are you kidding me? You know he’s doing that chick from accounting, right?”

Alec’s jaw dropped and he chanced a glance over. “The fuck he is.”

“No. I’m telling you! For two years now. And before that he had some bartender on the side.”

“Oh shit. Not the redhead from O’Brian’s?”

Jace nodded. “Exactly. And those are just the regular side chicks. I love the guy but he is hound when it comes to women. And _you_ are just not like that. At all.” Jace sniffed and wiped at his nose with the heel of his hand. “Which is why if you tell me you got laid I can only imagine it’s someone special. Tell me I’m lying.”

Alec didn’t know what to tell him. He wasn’t sure what would be worse; telling Jace he was banging a hooker or admitting that he was gay. The latter was out of the question. Alec wanted to come to terms with his feelings first before he had to come out to his family. And even then he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to face telling them.

Growing up, he didn’t ever remember realizing he was gay like some people talk about. His only moment of clarity was listening to his father and his friends watching a football game while he was doing his homework at the kitchen table and getting a sinking, sick feeling in the pit off his stomach when he understood for the first time that when they were talking about the people they hated—the fags and the queers, people who would burn in hell and deserved to get killed or worse—they were talking about _him_. And if they knew how he felt, maybe they would kill him—or worse.

So he stopped thinking about Alan Belcher and the way his shirt would ride up when they played basketball and how good he smelled when Alec got to sit next to him on the school bus. Instead, he tried to think about the other things that boys his age seemed to be interested in, like boobs and pantylines. He didn’t like it much, but he didn’t mind. And when other kids got called fag or queer and got pushed around in the lunch line—or worse—he never joined in. But he never spoke up either. He kept his mouth shut and never told a soul. Not until a mouth ago. When those brown eyes asked him what he wanted and he said, “_I think I’m gay but I don’t know for sure. I just want to know._”

Alec cleared his throat. “To be honest, I’m mostly kinda shocked that you said ‘side chicks’. Who the hell talks like that? I thought that girl of yours had you all trained up and wearing one of those pink hats already.” Jace laughed and Alec hoped he gotten away with the change in subject.

“I’ll have you know I rock the pussy hat. Maybe you should try it.” Jace’s smile faded pretty quickly. “I’m not saying it would be a bad thing. For you to find someone to hook up with. I think—” He sighed and winced in that way he had when he didn’t want to say something in case he got a slap for it. “I mean, I know things are bad between you and Lydia right now, but they could get better right?” Alec didn’t say a word, just flipped his turn signal and started to change lanes. “So, if you’ve found someone you can blow off a bit of steam with for a couple of weeks while you and Lydia work things out, that’s not so bad?”

“You think that's what she’s doing right now? Blowing off steam with Dr. Dreamy?”

Jace shrugged. “I’m just saying that you’ve had bad patches before. Just don’t go gaga over some chippy when you have a wife at home, okay?”

Alec didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Jace had always been the same. Ever the optimist. When their folks had split, he was convinced until the very end—until his father dropped dead of a heart attack at fifty-five—that they would live happily ever after eventually. Didn’t matter that he was an abusive asshole, or that their mother was happily living the single life, Jace was still acting like it was the Parent Trap and he could fix everything. Even now, when he and Lydia had been separated for six months and she'd had been banging some guy for four of them, Jace still had it in his head that they could talk it out. Alec didn’t have the heart to go over _again_ that he didn’t want to take her back, even if she wanted him to.

Pulling into a parking spot, Alec switched off the engine. Jace looked over sheepishly. “I shoulda just keep my mouth shut, shouldn’t I?”

Alec didn’t say anything, just pulled out a twenty from his wallet and held it up. Jace snatched it from his fingers and jumped out of the car without saying a word. Alec sighed as he watched his baby brother walk over to the breakfast place they’d been coming to for as long as he could remember and wondered how in the hell he was going to explain it to him—any of it, all of it—without breaking the poor kid's heart.


	7. Hibernating Insects Surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The smut has arrived finally!  
There's plot too but be aware, we earn the explicit tag in this one. It's not my forte so I hope it sounds okay.  
Also...practice safe sex, my dudes. Safe, sane, consensual, always. This is fiction so liberties have been taken.  
Updated the tags, but let me know if you think I should add anything.  
And lastly, thank you so much for all the support and comments and subscriptions! You guys are the bestest, really ♥ I appreciate it so much xx

“Stop. You have to stop.”

Magnus stopped, dragging his lips slowly right to the end of Alec’s cock as he brought his head up, squeezing at the base where it rose from his fist just to be on the safe side.

“Too much?” It was a rhetorical question. Not so much as Magnus knew what he was doing was right on the edge of too much, but more because Alec looked a mess.

Splayed out on Raphael’s leather couch, Alec appeared utterly debauched—his shirt hanging open revealing his flushed chest, the T of dark hair pointing down toward his bare thighs and to the place where Magnus had tight hold of his lovely neat dick which jutted out from the handful of thick hair between his legs. And to Magnus, of course, who was kneeling, fully clothed, at his feet on a cushion, smiling like the cat who'd got the cream. Or who was about to, any minute now given the way Alec was panting.

From the moment Magnus had unzipped Alec's jeans and shimmied them down past his knees, Alec hadn’t taken his eyes off Magnus. Magnus knew it because he hadn’t been able to look away either. There was something about Alec’s expression, the wide-eyed innocence and the way his mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ when Magnus finally stopped licking and swallowed him down—it was just too good to miss.

He’d blown Alec the last time they were together but it hadn’t been anything like this intense. Magnus hadn’t tried to string it out like he was doing now, edging the orgasm out of Alec until Alec’s eyes were wet with tears and he looked about ready to burst. He’d done pretty well all told. Magnus had given him the no-touching talk—he wasn’t opposed to Alec holding his head and fucking his throat but he needed to be able to give a lecture the next day without his voice sounding like he'd been through a meat grinder. Although, he was wondering whether he shouldn’t have tied Alec down or something, given the way he was white-knuckling the couch cushions for dear life. Hopefully the fingermarks would be gone from the leather upholstery before Raphael got back from his trip.

Alec had his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “You want me to stop?” Magnus was teasing but to his surprise Alec nodded. “Is everything okay?” Worried that maybe he’d gone too far, Magnus started to sit back on his heels. Alec wasn’t like the guys he’d been with in the past, certainly not like any client he’d ever had. He needed nurturing, reassuring more than simply getting off.

It was a relief when Alec grabbed his arm and stopped Magnus from pulling away. “No, I mean—Christ, you have to show me how to do that, I just…”

The words petered out and Magnus had to smile. It was one of Alec's quirks Magnus had noticed right away, that a lack of words generally meant Alec wanted something, something sexual, but was too embarrassed to ask. It was a habit Magnus was hoping to cure him of, one way or another.

Drawing Alec’s hand from his arm, Magnus turned it over, pressing his lips to Alec’s wrist before massaging Alec's palm with his thumb. “You have to use your words. Not psychic, remember?”

Alec huffed out a laugh but his head fell back. When his dick started to soften in Magnus’s hand, on instinct Magnus jerked him slowly.

“That." Alec's breath hitched. "I wanna…” Lifting his head, Alec looked into Magnus’s eyes, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I want to do that. But the two of us. Together. Like…”

Magnus got it. Got it and kind of wanted it. He was already hard in his jeans, something he was quite prepared to take care of himself later once Alec had left. It wasn’t his fault that he liked sucking cock. Alec’s cock, in particular. And this way it would save some time.

“If you like. We can do that.”

Standing slowly, Magnus's knees felt a little tight after kneeling for so long and he wondered whether it was a sign he was getting too old for this. He did his best to make a show of undressing, slowly unbuttoning his fly, pulling his t-shirt up a little to hint at his flat stomach. If he’d been worried about Alec losing his erection before, he realized then things would work out. The thing jumped like a jack rabbit when Magnus pulled his jeans down, his own erection freeing itself and slapping against his belly.

It wasn’t much of a show in the end. But that had always been Raphael’s forte, not Magnus’s. A couple of times they’d done guys together, and Magnus would marvel at how Raphael could work his body like a goddamn stripper, while Magnus was over in the corner trying to get his socks off without falling on his ass. It was annoying that he could be so graceful in everything else but getting undressed. Alec didn’t seem to mind though. He just looked hungrily on until Magnus pulled free of his jeans and started to straddle him on the couch. Then he looked like a rabbit in the proverbial headlights.

“This what you had in mind?” Magnus placed one hand on the back of the couch behind Alec’s head and looked down at him.

Alec appeared as if he might choke on his own tongue. “Oh hell, yeah,” he breathed out.

Magnus smiled. He settled down, putting his weight onto Alec’s thighs and tilting his hips forward to line up their cocks. There had been a discussion the previous session about safety first—no condom, no sex. Magnus had sucked Alec off through raspberry flavored latex and he thought it had been fine. But Alec had turned up earlier with a letter from his doctor, a receipt for PrEP and an earnest look on his face. Magnus had half a mind to call Raphael just to get a second opinion but he knew what Raphael would say...and decided to ignore the ghostly voice in his head, pulling the condom off Alec as he settled his weight against him.

With the first touch of skin, Alec hissed and his calloused hands grabbed Magnus’s ass, sliding him closer, as he whispered, “Oh my god, that feels amazing. You feel _amazing_.”

Magnus had to swallow back the urge to kiss him. “You wanna try it like this or you want fuck my hand.”

Alec groaned. His answer was his own hand slipping between their bodies. Magnus fully expected him to jerk them both off, but Alec ignored his own pleasure and wrapped his fingers around Magnus.

Magnus might have squeaked. It was unprofessional but damn it felt good to have someone else's hands on him. When Alec started to move, Magnus leaned to one side, grabbing the bottle of lube and pumping it directly onto Alec’s fist. Alec’s fingers slipped slowly up, gathering the gel and coating his shaft thoroughly before starting to find a rhythm.

“Shit.” Magnus leaned back a little but he found there was only so far he could go. Alec’s other hand was cupping his ass cheek, kneading it and holding him tightly.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Alec said. Magnus might have taken it as a compliment if Alec had been looking at his face and not at the way his fingers caught on Magnus’s rim with each stroke. “You feel so different. Fuck, you’re so hard.”

Alec looked up at him, his lips moist and that innocent expression back on his face. “Can I kiss you? While I’m doing this?”

Magnus wanted it but he knew there had to be a limit. “No. No, just, oh goddammit…”

It was too late. Just the thought of Alec’s lips on him, imagining his tongue sliding inside his mouth, started to tip him over the edge, but it was the touch of Alec’s finger against his asshole that had his balls drawing up and him clutching Alec’s shoulders as he came. He gasped through it and too soon Alec’s hand was gone.

Magnus blinked, trying to get his head straight to reciprocate but he was too late for that too. Alec had hold of himself using the reside from Magnus and the condom to stroke himself roughly. His other hand came down to hook the hem of Magnus’s t-shirt with his thumb and pull it up, revealing his bare skin.

“Shit,” was all Alec said. His fingers tightened painfully on Magnus’s shoulder as he held the t-shirt up higher and came over Magnus’s stomach. He panted, quiet until the end, when he looked up, shocked and flushed and apologetic. “Shit. Sorry. I guess I should have asked first. Sorry.”

Magnus laughed and reached for the towel he had ready next to them. “I’m good. Believe me, I’m good. You okay?"

“Are you kidding me?” Alec looked stunned. Happy but stunned. “That was…yeah. I’m definitely okay.”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile. Something about the way Alec’s face lit up—like he was discovering some kind of enlightenment each time he orgasmed with Magnus and the world kept turning and he didn’t burst into flames—it made Magnus feel really happy. “I think I’m going to need a shower after that though.”

Magnus was kind of joking but Alec smiled shyly and asked, “Can I watch?”

It didn’t seem to hurt his feelings when Magnus checked his Casio and shrugged. “Sure. We’ve got time.”

It didn’t feel weird, having Alec there, fully clothed at the other end of the wet room, sitting on the closed seat of the toilet while Magnus soaped himself down under the rainfall shower. Magnus tried his best to keep his hands moving slow and soaped his ass about twenty times more than was really necessary and Alec seemed to be content with it. When Magnus was done, he turned off the water and walked over, leaving a trail he knew he’d be mopping later. Raphael was weirdly fussy about housekeeping.

Alec held up the towel he’d been holding and Magnus had already wiped his face and arms before he realized that something was off. “What’s wrong?”

There was a beat, then, “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep doing this?”

Magnus let his hands drop. “Oh. Okay.” He felt…disappointed. Genuinely disappointed and it was the last thing he was expecting.

“No, I mean,” Alec scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I want to see you. I just—” He winced. “It’s the…money.”

“Ah.” Magnus felt relieved. When Raphael had offered him the job, Magnus needed some quick cash and thought it was going to be a one-time thing. The extra funds the last few weeks hadn’t hurt but he didn’t necessarily need the money. Starting to wipe down his chest and belly, he made sure to spread his legs as his hands moved downward. “Y’know, if you were a regular, I could charge you less.”

“You—you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s not a favor. It’s company policy, actually.” Alec looked unconvinced but Magnus wasn’t lying. “It’s less admin, less chance of scheduling issues…it makes sense. If you wanted to book a regular appointment, it’s more convenient for me and for…” He didn’t specify, just gesturedaround him. He didn’t really want to say Raphael’s name when he was naked.

Alec frowned and looked like he was thinking it over. Magnus didn’t want to make it too easy for him, so he stepped up close and held out the towel. “Why don’t you dry me off while you decide?”

Alec took the towel and lay it carefully over his hand before he started wiping up the inside of Magnus's thighs in long slow strokes. Magnus found himself holding his breath as Alec leaned forward and nuzzled into the side of his cock and murmured, “How does same time each Tuesday sound to you?”

The sound reverberated through Magnus’s groin and he had to clear his throat before he could answer. “I’ll have to check my calendar.”

Alec hmmed and closed his eyes. When he rubbed his smooth cheek the length of Magnus’s burgeoning erection, Magnus let out a slow steady breath, checked his watch again, and figured it didn’t really matter if they went a little over time—just this once.


	8. first peach blossoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Magnus and Raphael for y'all ♥

Magnus was pulling his credit card from his wallet, when someone banged a sports drink down on the counter between him and the slightly startled cashier.

“You left come on my couch.”

Magnus sighed and smiled apologetically at the poor girl who was staring at Raphael with her mouth open and eyes bulging out. “Sorry. It’s Tourette’s. He can’t help it. And no, I didn’t.”

She gave both of them the side eye, scanned the bottle, and resumed chewing her gum. “Suuure. Seventeen-eighty-five.”

“Then why is there dried jizz on my couch, huh?”

Magnus smiled like nothing was wrong, swiped his card, picked up his bag of groceries and left before they could ban him for life.

He slammed Raphael's purchase into his chest when they were outside. “It’s not mine. I followed your clean-up instructions to the letter. Which, in my professional opinion, are borderline obsessive by the way. I even mopped your fucking shower.”

“You’re teacher, not a clinician, stop diagnosing me.” Raphael hmmed. “I suppose it isn’t like you to make a mess. Maybe it was Mike…or did Kyle have a booking? They're both kinda useless.”

“Don’t you have a spreadsheet for this stuff? And when did you get back anyway?”

Raphael swigged his Mountain Dew. “I do, but things got a little out of hand when I was away. And I got in this morning. I think. I’m a little jet lagged.”

Magnus nodded. “You look like shit. How was Paris?”

“Exhausting. Kinda fun but I think I pulled a hamstring.”

“Poor you. Getting flown to Europe to fuck. It sounds terrible.”

“Hey,” Raphael scowled. “First off, he booked me a ticket in coach, can you believe it? And B, the guy is seventy-five. I mean, like Harrison Ford seventy-five, not Brando seventy-five but still. _Coach_.”

“My heart bleeds for you.”

“Whatever. How was Mister-Just-This-Once?” Raphael smirked, but Magnus was surprised to see that he looked a little concerned underneath it.

“Fine. Uses too much teeth but fine.”

“No wonder you want a regular spot.” They walked up the steps to Magnus’s building, but Raphael stopped him with a hand on his arm before Magnus could put the key in the lock. “Hey.” His voice was soft and Magnus felt his defensive hackles rising before Raphael even started. “Look, I read your email and I’ll gladly let you have the apartment if you want that Tuesday slot but do you really want to do this? I know it’s just this one guy but there was a reason you quit the life, Magnus. I don’t want to be responsible for you getting hurt again.”

Magnus wanted to laugh it off and say _Christ, how jet lagged are you?_ But instead, he raised his eyebrows. “Seriously? Last week you were trying to strong arm me into orgies with politicians and now this?”

Raphael shrugged and looked a little guilty. “I don’t know. I guess I had some time to remember why you really quit in the first place.” Magnus bristled, but Raphael was ready for him and stopped Magnus from turning away. “Hey. Don’t run from me. You don’t have to talk about it but I was there remember? When I set this thing up for you, I just thought you’d get laid and that would be that. But now—I can tell you’re getting involved already and if he is as well—”

Raphael was right but Magnus didn’t want to admit it. Not that he was getting too involved but he just couldn’t compare what had happened before to how things were with Alec.

He chewed his lip for a second, then shrugged. “You did a background check on him, right?” Raphael nodded. “Well, then. It’s not like I’m standing on some corner at two in the morning wearing booty shorts just yet. And he certainly hasn’t overstepped at all. If I felt uncomfortable for a second you know I’d be out of there.”

“He gave you his number instead of going through me. You don't think that's a red flag?”

Magnus sighed and opened the front door. “Not really. He didn’t ask for mine, I offered. Plus, he doesn’t ask me a ton of personal questions and doesn’t try to tell me anything about himself. He’s not—” Magnus adjusted the bag in his arms as the walked down the dark hallway. “I just don’t have a bad feeling about him, okay?”

“I’m having plenty of bad feelings about where you're fucking living right now,” Raphael muttered behind him. Magnus huffed out a laugh, mostly as he could see Raphael’s point. His place was a dump even compared to Raphael’s most modest apartment, which is why they spend most of their time there away from Magnus's screaming neighbors and stench of vomit in the hallway.

Once they actually got inside his place it wasn’t so bad. It was just one room with a pullout and and a crappy tv but it had been all Magnus had been able to afford at such short notice when he had to move out of his previous, much nicer, accomodation. It was always going to be temporary. He just hadn't gotten around to finding anywhere else yet.

“Y’know," Magnus dropped the sack of groceries on the small table and started to unpack it. "If you had told me you were going to be back today, I could have made you dinner at your place.”

Raphael huffed in derision as he flopped back to lay on Magnus’s unmade bed. “I’m not sure my limited trust your culinary skills is going to get any better given what’s coming out of that bag. Being that TV dinners will make you fat, I can only assume you’re planning on being an orca for Halloween this year?”

“Yeah, well, we can all have the metabolism of a stick insect.” Magnus had stuffed the last box into his refrigerator before he realized he was missing the smart ass remark that should have been bandied back to him.

It seemed Raphael hadn’t lost his edge so much as fallen fast asleep where he’d draped himself. Magnus walked over, trying not to wake him and drew the water bottle from his loose fingers. When he chanced laying a blanket over his friend, Raphael stirred a little but only to snuggle himself down. Magnus smiled grateful for the chance to look after his friend for a change, even if it was something so small. “I’m glad you’re home safe too, Raphael.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one other than, thanks for the love, guys!  
You're the bomb!  
Kudos is delish and all, but so many subscriptions! Thank you! The comments and love definitely help keep me going so I really appreciate it ♥  
See you Tuesday! xx


	9. Caterpillars become butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some serious talking, a little NSFW...

“Can I ask you a question?”

Magnus lifted his head and looked down at him, not quite distressed but close. “Now?”

Alec shrugged and felt himself pink up a bit, embarrassed at his timing. Maybe being sprawled between Magnus’s splayed legs on the couch wasn’t the best moment to do this. He shook his head a little and mumbled, “Sorry. Forget it,” and went back to what he’d been doing.

Except when he ducked his head and went back to the task at hand—running his tongue around the tip of Magnus’s cock which was bobbing around in front of his face, trying to remember what Magnus had told him about going slow and just doing what he knew he liked himself before he worked on his gag reflex—Alec found Magnus’s hand in his hair pushing him gently back.

“I’m sorry. It’s your dime. Ask away.” He sounded sincere and when Alec looked up at him he looked it too.

Alec pushed himself up and sat back on his heels thinking, not for the first time, that this was not exactly how he’d imagined being with a prostitute would be. He didn’t quite think of Magnus as a friend but he was the only person he had that he could talk this stuff over with. It was all very well reading about it on the internet but it wasn’t the same as talking about it over a beer. Or a blow job.

“It’s kinda personal. I just don’t know who else to ask.”

Magnus frowned. “Okay. I’m not really—” He ran his hand over his face, seemingly to take some time to think, then tucked his dick away as best he could as he propped himself up into a sitting position at the other end of the couch. “Just go ahead and ask but if I don’t want to answer, just know it’s not personal, okay?”

Alec nodded. He got it. And he was cool with it. He didn’t really feel like sharing much about himself, and he could understand why Magnus wasn’t open to sharing either. Still, he was embarrassed and totally tongue-tied, until Magnus nudged his knee with his toe.

Alec smiled awkwardly. “I guess. I know I started doing this…with you. To see if…”

It was still damn hard to say it. luckily, he didn’t have to as Magnus finished for him. “To see if you liked being with a man?”

Alec winced at his bluntness. “Yeah. But I think it’s pretty obvious that I'm—” His cheeks bulged out as he blow out a breath. “I'm gay.” It felt a little weird to say it out loud, but good in a strange way. Like he felt lighter just from hearing the word come from his lips. He smiled. “Anyway, I was thinking that I’m going to have to tell people eventually, my family and—” His stomach lurched at the thought of it. “And I've just been wondering what it's like. To tell people.” Magnus nodded slowly but stayed quiet and steady and Alec suddenly realized what a horrible idea it was to talk to him about this. “Y’know, what, forget it. I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, no. It’s okay,” Magnus said, reaching out to him. His hand dropped to the couch before it touched Alec. “It’s just not a straight-forward.”

“I think that’s the point isn’t it?” Alec had to smile a little.

Magnus chuckled, and something about the sound drew some of the tension out of Alec. As did the grin that followed. “Cute. But really, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to that. If there was a magical phrase to make it easier, or one standard reaction you could expect, then I figure you might have have done it a long time ago?”

“Maybe.” He ran his fingertip along the seam of the cushion. “How was it for you?”

Magnus sighed and looked at the ceiling for a second, making the hint of glitter around his eyes sparkle. “Honestly? It never really happened.”

“They don’t know?” Alec frowned. He hardly knew the man but something told him that Magnus wasn’t the sort to hide who he was from anyone. Not that his sense of style and flare necessarily would out him, but there was something about him that definitely pinged Alec’s underutilized gaydar even without the guyliner and lip gloss.

“Oh, they know. But it was kinda like they always knew. We never had to sit down and have a coming out talk. I mean, I had a couple of girlfriends in high school that lasted all of five minutes but then when I started talking about guys as well, they never seemed surprised or bothered.”

Alec’s mind drifted back to that moment when he'd known he could never tell a soul, listening to his father spewing hate and the way it made him die on the inside. “You’re very lucky.”

Magnus nodded. “I know. Believe me, I know.” He seemed to wait then scooched forward to get closer, taking Alec’s hand, turning over and stroking his fingers absently as he talked. “I know a few guys who got thrown out of their homes over it, some whose parents went ballistic at first but came around later. I know a couple who took a long time to say anything to anyone, who put themselves through hell and then their families said they’d known all along and didn't get what all the fuss was about. You might have an idea about how it’s going to go, and you might be right. Or you might not. So I can’t predict what it'll be like for you. You sure they have no idea?”

“I don’t think so.” Alec shook his head. “No, they don’t.”

“Look,” Magnus said, shuffling closer until his knees came to rest on Alec's thigh. “You don’t have to rush into anything. The right time is when you're ready. Maybe wait until you feel more comfortable in yourself. Once you’re ready for a relationship, perhaps. Or maybe once you don’t stutter when you say it out loud?” Magnus smiled and ducked his head to get Alec to look at him.

“Yeah." Alec smiled. "Y’know this was the first time I ever said it. To anyone.”

The shock on Magnus’s face was extraordinary. Alec almost wanted to laugh but Magnus seemed so completely floored, it wasn't actually that funny. “Oh, that’s—that’s amazing. Thank you. For telling me.”

For a second, Alec wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed. He looked down, to where Magnus was still holding his hand. Taking control, he pulled Magnus’s hand up to his lips and kissed the palm of his hand. Magnus stayed quiet until Alec took his thumb into his mouth and sucked from the base to the nail. “Shall we get back to it?”

Magnus looked at him blankly then nodded, breathlessly murmuring, “Whatever you want.”

Alec huffed out a laugh. “Well, when I figure that out you’ll be the first to know but right now…” His hands moved to Magnus’s fly and Magnus let himself fall back, bouncing against the cushions, biting his lip with a sweet smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dudes...over 100 subscriptions! Thank you so much! ♥ ♥ You're the bestest ♥  
Feel free to leave questions and predictions in the comments. I could totally talk about these two all day ♥  
Hope you have a great week xx


	10. Sparrows start to nest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB - I know nothing about the US education system—or any other for that matter—or musical theater. Or anything, really. I'm just winging it. I hope this sounds okay. 
> 
> Also, I think there's a Greg in the books?...This isn't him, just a happy coincidence, so I won't tag him.
> 
> (Also, I really like this chapter even though nothing much happens :) )

Magnus poured the dregs of the coffee left in the pot into his mug and wondered for the fiftieth time that evening why the hell they just didn’t have these meetings in coffee shop down the block.As tiresome as department meetings could be, they were a thousand times worse when the coffee ran out.

“Looks like I’m a little late.”

Magnus shrugged. “I think you’ll be better off with a fresh pot.” He smiled up at the recently acquired Sociology teacher whose name he could never quite remember. Probably because Magnus's brain shorted out every time he looked at him. The guy was far too pretty to be working in a place like this. Maybe it was the John Lennon glasses, or the layering thing he did with the plaid shirt, sweater vest, jacket ensemble he somehow managed to make look sexy. Or maybe it was just the thick fingers on the hands that looked like they could crush walnuts.

Reaching out for the filters to replenish the supply, Magnus's hand only succeeded in grazing one of those very fingers, which had got there before him. He smiled awkwardly but Sociology didn’t seem to mind. “I got it. You should finish your coffee before it gets any colder.”

“Thanks." Magnus smiled awkward and leaned back against the table, cradling the mug to his chest. "It would be a lot easier if we could get a Keurig or something.”

Sociology laughed. “I’d vote for them updating the registration software before a coffee machine I’m afraid.”

Magnus had to agree with that. “You have a point. I couldn’t get into it at all yesterday.” He idly looked over the room, wondering how long it would take to get through the evening’s agenda.

“Took me most of the morning to get into the damn building,” Sociology muttered under his breath as he scooped coffee grounds into the paper filter. “Did you know they changed the passcode on the east door from the parking lot?”

Magnus shrugged. “I get the bus in but I think I heard someone complaining about that.” Not that he felt bitter about having to take public transport. Selling his car had been his choice. Same as moving to a cheaper place to live. Same as saying yes to Raphael when he asked if Magnus wanted some work.

Magnus shook the thought away. His mind drifted back to the matters at hand and also to the fact that Sociology was taking a little longer than absolutely necessary to get the coffee machine working.

He glanced over and was surprised to see the guy was blushing a little and fussing with a pile of napkins. Magnus frowned and looked away, trying to think of something to say. In the end, he didn’t have to.

“That show that Ellery was going on about earlier? I have tickets.” Sociology—_Greg! Of course, it was Greg. Why was that so hard to remember?_—sounded a little nervous, like he didn’t quite want to commit to what he was saying.

Magnus wanted to tease—_You sure about that?_—but he definitely didn’t know the guy well enough, so he went with, “You should have said before. Would have been nice to see Ellery shutting the hell up about how hard it was to get a seat like he got the golden ticket or something.”

“You wanna go?” Magnus blinked twice before he turned. Greg looked even less sure about that than he had done about having the tickets. “With me, I mean.”

Magnus had to swallow before he asked, “Like a—a date?”

Greg shrugged. “Doesn’t have to be. It’s next Tuesday at 7.30 so if you wanted to get dinner before, I guess…”

It was Magnus’s lucky day.

For about a second and a half before he remembered that he was a little tied up that evening.

His face must have shown his disappointment as Greg stopped talking. He looked fricken adorable, even when he was embarrassed it seemed. It crossed Magnus’s mind that he could theoretically cancel his appointment with Alec. Move it to another night. Perhaps if it had been anyone else he might have. But in the moment, it seemed crazy to pass up an hour with Alec for even a whole night with Greg.

Later, he’d wonder what the hell he’d been thinking. That he’d been idly fantasizing about what Greg looked like under that sweater vest for a while now and that he’d totally screwed his chances of that ever happening. Or of ever getting to see Hamilton with the original cast.

But right then, all he could think of was how much he missed the feel of Alec’s hands on him, the sound of his voice, his scent, and the drag of his stubble over his naked chest…and how he couldn’t pass that up. Not even for Broadway.

“Sorry, Greg. Thanks for the offer. I just—”

Greg smiled sweetly, clearly a little disappointed. “Don’t worry about it. I should have known you’d be seeing someone.”

Magnus could have corrected him; clarified. But then people were taking their seats again and the chatter was dying down and Magnus didn’t want to make a big deal out of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love, my lambs! It helps so much to read your comments, I can't even tell you ♥ Muses love comments :)   
Also, should I have a hashtag for the twitters? Other people seem to do that so...xx


	11. First cherry blossoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which something small happens that marks a sea change.
> 
> Happy Valentine's, Angels ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finally watched the end of 3B and I'm sad and weepy and I figured as it's VDay and that last installment wasn't exactly romantic...I'd post another chapter, just to say Happy Valentine's ♥

“You’re frowning.”

Alec dragged his eyes away from contemplating the couch. He could well have been frowning. Jace always said he had resting angry face rather than resting bitch face.

Magnus looked concerned as he walked over from the kitchen, a couple of bottles of water in one hand and a towel in the other. “What did the mean couch do to you?”

“Nothing." Alec almost smiled but his attention fell back to the offending piece of furniture. "It’s just a couch.”

“And yet, you look like it pissed you off.” Magnus dumped the water and the towel on the piece of furniture in question and turned to Alec, taking his hand. He always did it so lightly, with the tips of his fingers like he was giving Alec the chance to pull away. Alec never wanted to though.

“Not pissed off just…” Alec shrugged. He didn’t really know how to explain it but if he knew only one thing about Magnus after all these weeks, it was that he would wait patiently until he got an answer. “I guess…I don’t know. It makes me feel like a teenager, messing around on it instead of…”

“Instead of taking me to bed?” Magnus offered and Alec’s cheeks heated up. Magnus stepped closer and ran his pointer finger from Alec’s collarbone to his belt. Alec shivered. “You wanna take me to bed?” Alec nodded. “You wanna get naked with me?” Alec’s breath shuddered out of him. Magnus leaned in, brushing his cheek against Alec’s and whispered, “Do you wanna fuck me?”

It was too much. Alec took a step back and had to look away, fixing his eyes to the floor. He hated that he got so flustered. That was definitely something he wanted but it was too soon. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about it, jerking off to the thought of sliding inside Magnus’s body, feeling him buck and writhe under him but the reality of it was still too complicated. His mind rushed straight to the chance that he might hurt Magnus, or that it would be the thing that turned Magnus off him, or that he might suck at it, or come too soon, or even the possibility that it might be the limit for Alec, that he might realize that he wasn’t into men after all and he was _not_ ready to give Magnus up just yet.

Magnus didn’t let go of his hand. “That’s okay. We don’t have to do that. But we could do other stuff. In a bed.” He ducked his head to try to catch Alec’s eye. “There happens to be a rather comfortable one right next door if you want to give it a try?”

The room was much like the the main living space, stylish with dark gray walls and furniture that Alec knew was expensive but not so intimidating he was worried about breaking anything. The bed itself was large and dressed in plain white sheets and a soft gray comforter. The only clutter were the same array of condoms and sex toys that adorned the rest of the place.

“What’s with the TV?” Alec asked, gesturing to the obscenely large screen opposite the bed.

Magnus shrugged as he pulled off his shirt. “Some people like to watch porn while they’re…” He didn’t need to spell it out. “There’s a camera available too if you ever wanted to tape what happens and watch it back.” Magnus’s jaw tightened a little and he looked away, before adding, “But I don’t do that so you’d have to book someone else.”

Alec frowned at the thought of another person touching him. He couldn’t imagine that another—hooker—escort would be half as patient or kind with him. But also… “Do people really do that?”

Alec was a little embarrassed by his naivety but Magnus just frowned a little. “I guess you don’t spend much time on the Internet, huh?”

He stepped towards Alec and ran his fingers around Alec’s waistband before tugging playfully at his button fly. “You want a hand with these?”

Alec had to catch his breath. He could practically feel the heat coming from Magnus’s bare chest and wondered if one time he could just spend their hour together just looking at him. Alec shook his head. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Magnus smirked and stepped back, starting to unzip without taking his eyes from Alec’s. They didn’t speak again or look away from each other until they were both naked.

It should have been nothing. Alec had stripped plenty of times in front of other people—at the gym, or skinny dipping on vacation, or whatever—but it had never felt like this. There was no flourish or striptease, just two guys sliding out of their clothes, but it was strangely erotic all the same.

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen each other bare skin either. But this felt so different. A glimpse of Magnus’s tight stomach or sharp collar bones in isolation was one thing but seeing it all standing in front of him had Alec’s arms instinctively coming up to cover himself.

He wasn’t exactly self conscious about his body. He’d always been bigger, lanky and too pale, gaining muscle easily even without playing football in school and college. Even now as the muscle was yielding to flab having spent too much time in the office and not enough time lugging brick around, he wasn’t worried.

Lydia used to bitch about how hairy he was, but even that didn’t phase him. She’d screw up her nose and talk about ‘manscaping’ whenever he’d take off his shirt but he never let it get to him. It wasn’t the reason they had stopped sleeping together so he didn’t see why he should bother.

What_ was_ bothering him was the way that Magnus’s eyes roved over his body when he finally undressed. They were wide and dark and Magnus licked his lips like he was _hungry_.

“I’ll give you this session for free if you let me lick you all over.”

Alec laughed but Magnus blushed and looked flustered for a second like he really hadn’t meant to say that out loud. The sight made Alec’s dick twitch where it was already thickening, hanging heavy against his thigh.

“I wouldn’t put you through that,” he said shyly. “I would really have to pay you extra for the trauma. Plus you’d be coughing up hairballs for a week.”

There was something about Magnus’s expression that was clear that he thought that Alec had lost his mind.

“I—” he started, but then seemed to struggle for a moment. When he came forward, it wasn’t in the way Magnus normally approached him. He didn’t glide over, all smiles and hips, he sort of scooted closer, his face open and vulnerable and Alec didn’t know where to look.

“Can you just forget for the next minute or so that you’re paying me? I need a time out.”

Alec scowled but Magnus looked so earnest he just nodded.

“I need you to understand I’m been totally and completely honest when I say that, this—” Magnus ran his hands over Alec’s body, curling his fingers where the hair was thickest and rubbing his thumbs across the bare patches on Alec’s stomach and skinny hips. “I really like this.” Alec wanted to laugh but there was something in Magnus’s tone that just wasn’t funny. “That even though you’re paying me for sex, I wouldn’t do it if I found you…” _Disgusting_. It wasn’t Magnus’s word but Alec knew what he meant.

Magnus smiled gently. “Is that okay? I just wanted you to know.” He ducked his head looking earnestly up at Alec and all Alec could do was nod. When he did, Magnus beamed. Then he took Alec’s face in both his hands and quickly kissed him on the lips before he stepped back. “Okay then. Back on the clock.”

Magnus smirked and Alec did laugh then at the way he seemed to slip back into a role. He shook his head as Magnus took his hand and led him to the bed. They didn’t do anything they hadn’t done before—taking each other in their mouths, jerking off slow and easy. Alec came grinding his cock into the cut of Magnus’s hip and then watched in awe as Magnus’s orgasm exploded underneath him.

But later, when Alec was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling when he would usually have been jerking himself off, all he could think about was that Magnus had kissed him.

Magnus had told him that he was ‘off the clock’ and then _kissed _him.

After all the times that Alec had asked for that very thing and the _hooker_ had said no, _Magnus_ had finally kissed him. And Alec honestly didn’t know how to feel about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still weepy! See you Tuesday! ♥ xx


	12. Distant thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Magnus and Raphael for you today ♥ And a little more revealed...

Slumping down heavily onto the end of his bed, Magnus put the phone to his ear. He stared at his reflection in the tall mirror opposite as he listened to the ringtone, watching a dark spot appear on the collar of his red shirt as water dripped from his hair. Ten minutes ago it might have pissed him off but now he figured it didn’t matter.

Raphael picked up on the fourth ring. “_Please don’t tell me you’re coming in early._” He sounded out of breath.

Magnus shook his head slightly even though Raphael wouldn’t have known it. “Everything okay?”

“_Not really. The guy from the cleaning service didn’t show up and we hosted a party last night so the place is a mess. I’m trying to get things straightened out before you get here._”

Magnus cracked a smile. Raphael’s version of a mess was usually when the cushions hadn’t been straightened and no one had remembered to take out the garbage.

“Well, don’t rush. He can’t make it.” Magnus was surprised just how bummed he sounded as he said it out loud.

He’d gotten the text from Alec just as he’d stepped out of the shower but hadn’t thought to look to see who it was from until he was mostly done dressing. He’d sounded genuinely apologetic and regretful in a way that wasn’t necessary but had made Magnus feel a little better about having his afternoon screwed up. It wasn’t the first time Alec had cancelled. Magnus understood that he was pretty much dragging along the bottom of Alec’s list of priorities being that his time was bought and paid for but still…he was more disappointed than he wanted to admit.

Clearly, Raphael knew him better though. “_Oh,_” he said, and Magnus could hear him stop whatever he’d been doing. There was silence for a moment and then Raphael asked, “_You wanna come over anyway? We can get takeout and watch that sci-fi thing you like on the flatscreen?_” Magnus was tempted to refuse, make some excuse about getting ahead on the pile of marking waiting for him, but then Raphael added, “_Come on. We can snuggle. I'll even blow you if you want. I won’t even charge you full rate_.”

Magnus laughed. “One day I’ll take you up on that offer and you’ll have a heart attack.”

Raphael snorted. “_As if. You still wouldn’t be able to afford me. I’ll expect you in thirty_.”

Magnus arrived as the delivery guy was leaving.

“I got Thai ‘cause it sounded like you were moping. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to finish cleaning up but I figured you wouldn’t care.” Raphael didn’t bother looking up from where he was opening all the boxes of food at the kitchen counter.

Magnus sighed and looked around. He’d been right. The cushions weren’t straight.

“You wanna tell me why you’re pissed about this date cancelling?” Raphael pushed a pair of chopsticks in his direction.

"No." Magnus shucked off his jacket and shook his head. “Not really.”

“Is it the money? Because you know you just have to ask.”

Magnus’s lips curled up into a small smile as he hitched his hip onto one of the stools next to the counter. “No, it’s not that, although I appreciate the offer.” He pulled one of the boxes towards him and peered into it like the noodles somehow had the answer to a question he wasn’t ready to ask yet.

“You didn’t kiss him did you?” Raphael laughed, and shoved a dumpling into his mouth. His eyes were wide and shining with mirth, until he clocked the sheepish look that was clearly plastered on Magnus’s face. “You didn’t?” Raphael’s mouth was half-full but it didn’t stop him laughing again. “You rescind your membership to the Pretty Woman school of prostitution?”

Raphael laughed it up but when Magnus couldn’t seem to find it in him to join in, Raphael’s amusement died away until he simply shook his head and mumbled, “It’s a stupid rule anyway. I don’t think you should be upset about it. I’ve done worse in the throws of passion.”

Raphael was right. It was a stupid rule, something that Magnus had said to client in an offhand way back in the beginning when he had no idea what he was doing and the guy had a serious case of halitosis. Once he’d told Raphael and a couple of the other guys about it and they’d all had a good laugh, Magnus wasn't ready to let go of the idea just to piss them off. Until he was. Although the last time he'd made an exception, things had gone about as bad as they could go for him.

“I know it’s stupid but I’d just like to keep something for myself, y’know? You know I'm not great at boundaries.” Magnus felt stupid saying that to Raphael, being as Raphael didn’t have a problem with giving everything and anything away for a price. Magnus stabbed at his rice noodles. “Except we weren’t exactly…”

Raphael looked interested and waggled his eyebrows. “Weren’t balls deep?”

Magnus winced. “Weren’t on the clock.”

Raphael stopped chewing and glared across the counter. He didn't say anything for the longest time, and when he did, all the fun had left his voice. “If I told you to stop seeing this guy, would you do it?”

Magnus didn’t answer. He couldn’t think of anything to say other than, _no_.

Raphael nodded slowly. “Guess it’s a good thing I got ice cream in that case.”

Magnus smiled up at him, grateful that he wasn’t going to push it. “Thanks, Raph.”

“It’s not for you, bitch." Raphael scoffed. "I’m going to need all the calories I can get to sustain me if you're gonna fuck up your life again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quickie today. Hope you're all having a good week! Thanks as always for all the comments and subscriptions and love ♥ I appreciate it so much ♥


	13. Swallows return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we find out why Alec couldn't meet Magnus last time...
> 
> Worth reminding you that I'm aging Alec at about 34 in this and it's reeally AU...
> 
> Tags updated!

Alec’s heart was already thumping hard enough that he noticed it when he pulled into the driveway. The fact that Lydia was on the doorstep before he’d even switched off the ignition had him dreading getting out of the car. He did though, muttering, “I know, I know, I’m sorry, the traffic—” before she cut him off.

“It’s fine, just—it’s fine.” Her face was pinched and unhappy, the way she got when she was stressed. The way she’d looked for the last few years if Alec was honest with himself. “My ride isn’t here yet.” She was already in her RN’s uniform, hair pulled tight into a severe bun that would likely give her a headache by the morning.

They both paused on the doorstep, taking a deep breath and a moment of silence that was icy with the tension between them. The months of marriage guidance they’d put themselves through wasn’t for nothing and this breather always helped. It was never about saving their marriage anyway. Just saving their family.

Lydia opened the door and Alec followed her in, the house warm and comforting. It took about two seconds for the sound of feet to come thundering down the hall and for Alec to find himself with an armful of child.

Alec held his daughter tight as she clung to him, burying her face in his neck. “Hey, Maddie.”

She pulled away from him, her smile beaming despite the gaps from her lost teeth. “Are you staying, Daddy?”

Alec sighed and brushed her long chestnut hair over her shoulder. “Just for tonight, pumpkin. Your sister around?”

Madison combed her fingers through his scruff, eyeing it with intent and Alec figured he’d subject to some kind of makeover before he managed to get her to bed. “In her room. Sulking again.”

Alec’s heart hurt and he kissed Madison on the cheek as he lowered her to the ground. They’d expected Madison to be the one to struggle being that she was the youngest at eight. And yet, it was Caitlyn who seemed to be finding the separation hardest to adjust to. Lydia said it was being fourteen and the onset of impending womanhood and Alec could only hope that’s all it was. At least, that way it could get better.

Lydia yelled up the stairs as she passed them, and by the time Alec had followed her into the kitchen, he could hear the heavy tramping coming down. The pink streak that had adorned Caitlyn’s dark hair at the weekend had been replaced by electric blue but the fingernails were still black to match her clothes, if a little chipped. She sidled up to her father, almost reluctantly but not quite enough to hide her happiness at him being there.

Alec smiled and pulled her against him, kissing her hair. “Hey kid. I like the blue.”

Caitlyn risked a smile just for a second, before returning to the scowl she usually wore while her mother was around. “We should do your beard sometime.”

Alec laughed. “Yeah. Maybe. You got homework?”

Caitlyn shook her head.

“Show him your assignment, hon,” Lydia called from the lounge.

Caitlyn looked daggers at the open door, but held up the paper that she’d been holding behind her back.

Alec grinned. “You got an A! Good going, Cate.” He hugged her again, awkwardly pulling her into his side by her shoulders. “I guess that hard work paid off after all.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “No need to look so smug about it. You didn’t get the grade.”

Alec laughed. “No, but I made you so I’m allowed to bask in your glory.”

“It’s just math, Dad.”

“Just math, she says,” Lydia was laughing as she came in the room, “Are geniuses allowed to be that modest?”

Alec smiled over at her. “No point asking me, she gets it all from you.” It was nice for about a second before it got awkward again. He cleared his throat. “You get new glasses?”

Lydia straightened up from where she was rooting around in her bag and adjusted the frames on her face. “Yeah. You like ‘em? I wasn’t sure at first. Thought maybe they were a bit too heavy but I had a coupon…”

“No, they’re a good look on you. I think I might prefer them to your old ones.” It wasn’t forced, this interaction that they put themselves through every time, even though it was definitely deliberate. They didn’t hate each other, they just weren’t in love any more—although Alec doubted that he had ever been in love with her, at least not in the way that she was with him—and it felt like the most important thing they could do now was to be a role model to their girls. So, they held back their frustrations and bickering, and outright hostility when it came, for when they were alone. They made sure they said something nice to each other every time the girls saw them together and went back to their counsellor if they needed to. And it was working. So far, it was working.

Lydia smiled at him. “Thank you for coming over tonight. I’m sorry it was such short notice but Marie’s come down with that stomach flu and I really need this extra shift. I hope I didn’t screw up your night. Did you have plans?”

Alec hoped to god he didn’t blush. Because yes, yes he did have plans. Plans that he couldn’t bare to think about standing at the kitchen counter with his kids right in front of him, looking at their baby pictures on the wall.

Instead, he forced a smile and shook his head. “Nothing I couldn’t postpone.”

Luckily there was a beep from outside and suddenly Lydia was forcing a kiss on each of the girls and flying out the door.

Alec frowned at the way Caitlyn scrubbed the kiss from her cheek with the palm of her hand as the door slammed shut. “You should cut your mother some slack. She works hard, Cate.”

Caitlyn scoffed, and worried the lemons that were piled in a bowl on the table runner. “You know Raj was picking her up?”

Alec balked, not only the thought but at the way Caitlyn said that name. He’d been so careful to be Switzerland over the whole thing but there was his daughter sounding just like him. “Well, they work together,” Alec said, measured and calm. “Plus, they’re dating, so it makes sense.”

Caitlyn glared at him. “Don’t you care? You’re still married.”

Alec walked to the table and sat opposite her. He took her tiny hand in his, turning it careful, her hummingbird fingers in his bear paws, saying the same things he’d been listing out for the last six months. “We’re separated but we’re not getting back together. We were miserable together. You and your sister make us happy. We both love you and we’ll always be a family. It just means we won’t live together.” Alec sighed as Caitlyn tried to make herself look bored. “Raj makes your mom happy. I make her unhappy. When we live under the same roof she makes me want to rip my own head off and you know I turn her into a spiteful bitch but I think we can be real friends like this eventually. It’s not rocket science, kid.”

Caitlyn watched the place where he was cradling her hand, making no attempt to pull away. “And what about you? Do you have someone who make you happy?”

_Yes._

“Not yet.” Alec forced a smile. “But I will let you know when I do.”

It seemed to do the trick. Caitlyn’s shoulders softened, and she slid into her chair a little.

“So. Does my ‘A’ mean I can get a beer?”

Alec laughed. “Absolutely.” He got up and walked to the fridge, pulling out one for himself. He twisted the top off and took a draft as he turned back then smacked his lips. “As soon as you turn twenty-one. Come on, it’s a school night so there’s bound to be something trashy on TV you want me to watch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eep! Hope that was okay. I was really nervous about this one. I do love it though...hope you liked! Also, I know Lydia sounds weird with the NJ accent but I wanted to keep it so...
> 
> Thanks so much for all the love and comments ♥ You guys are so awesome. More next weeeek ♥


	14. Wild geese fly north

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family time for Magnus ♥
> 
> I made Ragnor and Tessa Magnus's siblings and have Catarina married to Ragnor...hope that sounds reasonable. I haven't tagged Asmodeus as their dad as he's not mentioned by name and I'm not sure he'll appear again...but that's who I'm imagining in that chair. I'm not imagining mom at all for similar reasons ♥ Hope you enjoy x

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief as he watched his ride pull away from the curb. Spending two and a half hours in a car with a stranger wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend his Saturday morning but sharing a ride beat five hours on a Greyhound any day of the week.

He missed his car.

Pulling his suitcase along behind him, he started down the path to the house, taking in the fresh air and comfort of the familiar. This wasn’t the fanciest part of Cape May but it was pleasant enough, quiet most of the time with the only real noise from the new families that moved into the area. The sight of the trees budding and the garden ornaments made him feel tired, like his body could finally release the tension that held him together in the city and he was suddenly weary.

“You look like shit.”

Magnus laughed and looked up at the man standing at the door. “I look like a fucking goddess compared to you. Who bought you that shirt?” He threw his arm around his big brother’s shoulders when he got close and they held each other tight for a minute.

“Catarina said it brought out my eyes.” Ragnor fluttered his eyelashes, and smacked Magnus on the ass as he walked past into the house, laughing.

“I think she was pulling your leg. She here?”

Ragnor shook his head. “No, Brianna had a rehearsal and Devin wanted to go to some board game thing with his friends. They’ll be along later. Tessa should be here in a minute. How long can you stay?”

“‘Til Monday.” Magnus lowered his voice. “How's mom?”

Ragnor smiled but it was sad and worn. “Better. Sore. Bitching about every damn thing. But, fingers crossed, we’re passed the worst of it.”

They’d spoken about all this on the phone but Magnus really wanted to see for himself. Ragnor had been cautiously optimistic from the beginning.

Their mom had been one of those women who'd never had a sick day in her life; Magnus couldn’t even remember her getting more than a sniffle when they were kids. So when she and her dad had sat him and his siblings down at the dining table after one of their monthly dinners—like they did when they were teenagers and they’d realized the whiskey had been watered down or someone had come home stinking of weed—they knew it was serious.

“Is she up?”

Ragnor shook his head. “Sleeping. Dad’s out back. Go hang out with him for a bit while I finish up the lunch.”

“Keep him out of your hair, you mean.” Magnus grinned.

Ragnor laughed. “While I’ve still got it.” Having a chef in the family was a really good thing being that Magnus could barely boil water. Having _two_ chefs in the family didn’t always go so smoothly.

Magnus found his father stretched out in one of the lawn chairs set up on the deck, beer in one hand and a hardware catalogue in the other. It was no joke that he looked like he’d aged about ten years in the last six months, his face deeply lined and his body somehow smaller.

Magnus kissed him on the head and lowered himself into the chair next to him.

“He better not be boiling those asparagus,” the old man grumbled.

Sighing, Magnus wished he’d had the forethought to grab a drink before he came out. “I think he’s planning on just whispering sweet nothings to them until they soften up.”

His dad snorted and looked over at him, a soft look in his eyes. “How was the drive?”

“Okay." Magnus shrugged. "A couple of grad students coming down for some music event. I don’t know, I tune them out around Staten Island. Still, cheaper than an Uber. Ragnor says mom is doing better?”

Magnus hated the serious look that came over his father whenever they had to talk about this, his brow drawing down and his lips forming a hard line. It made the man look fragile in a way Magnus never thought possible. “It all seems that way. Yesterday, she complained that I’ve been using too much fabric softener so I think she’s definitely on the mend.” There was a smile of relief, until he added, “You shouldn’t have sold your car, Magnus.”

Magnus looked away, back up to the house, gazing up at the window to what was his childhood bedroom. “Yes, I should. I was hardly using it.”

“And what about this other money you’ve been sending? Please tell me you haven’t taken out a loan or anything stupid.”

Magnus wanted to laugh. In a way, he was flattered that his father thought that he might be even considered for one given the extent of his student loans. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. “No, nothing like that.” His father waited, his eyes boring into the top of Magnus’s head until he relented. “I-I got a second job.”

His father hissed through his teeth. “Oh, Magnus—”

But Magnus wasn’t having it. “No, don’t—it’s fine. We decided, all of us, to help out. Ragnor and Tessa put money in too, I just want to do my bit. It’s the least we can do, Dad.”

His father didn’t say anything but he reached forward and took Magnus’s hand, squeezing it tight.

They’d never been close, not like Magnus was with his mom but they’d always got along just fine. His dad never berated him for not wanting to help him in the kitchen or take a summer job at the restaurant. He hadn’t batted an eyelid the first time Magnus had come home with a boyfriend, or when he’d turned up, red-eyed and emotionally wrecked and needing to come back home for weeks at a time during college. They never talked, or shared or_ got_ each other but it didn’t matter. And it had its advantages. At least, Magnus knew his father wouldn’t be asking him about his second job and force him to lie about Raphael or Alec, or the appointment he’d had to cancel to come down this weekend.

Magnus grasped his father’s hand tight, allowing him be the one to let go finally. When he did, Magnus settled back in his chair. “The grass out front could do with a talking to. You want me to run the mower over it after lunch?”

His father shrugged and looked back at his catalogue. “That would be nice.” He took a sip of his wine. “Y’know, the back yard is looking a little shaggy too…”

Magnus smiled, and strangely thought of Alec, and what it would be like to just sit and talk in the sun about grass growing while they drank wine and waited for lunch to be served.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeep! 100 kudos! ♥ Thank you, guys! And we're not even a quarter of the way through! You spoil me.  
Thanks as always for all the comments and subscriptions and love. It makes such a difference ♥
> 
> Hope your week is starting off okay. See you later! xx


	15. First rainbows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which secrets can't stay secret forever... ♥

Alec ran a finger around his shirt collar as he waited to be served, feeling uncomfortable with the suit he’d forced himself into as much as his surroundings. The coffee shop wasn’t the usual kind of place that he went to. He rarely visited his accountant at his office and this close to the campus the cafe was full of college kids trying to look cool and the kind of furniture that he would rather fill a dumpster with than have anywhere near food. But after the meeting, he needed coffee badly enough that he’d ducked into the closest place that he could find.

Luckily, there were only a couple of people in front of him and they turned out to be together so his order was taken pretty quickly. So quickly that he hadn’t had a chance to look around. And when he did—trying his best to not be irritated by the way the barista had rolled their eyes when he’d simply ordered a large black coffee to go, rather than one of the overpriced concoctions from the dazzling menu on the blackboard behind him—his eyes landed on a familiar face and his heart dropped into his shoes.

It could have easily not been Magnus, not with his head down, scanning over the papers in front of him, or the way he was dressed like a librarian in brown slacks, and a tan shirt under a light green sweater. But Alec recognized the glasses from the first day they’d met in the park. And his hands, of course. Hard to forget those fingers when they’d mapped every inch of him. Even if he was wearing a tie.

Even as Alec gaped, he was already planning on grabbing his coffee and leaving before Magnus spotted him. But the barista yelling that his order was ready caught Magnus’s attention and he looked up, right into Alec’s wide eyes.

The glimmer of happiness that came with recognition was so fleeting, Alec only had a second to enjoy it before the shutters came down and Magnus looked almost distressed. His eyes flitted around him, scanning the patrons at the other tables like he was trying to see if anyone had noticed. He glanced anxiously at the door before his face settled on something like polite acceptance and sent a reserved smile in Alec’s direction.

There was a second where Alec hesitated not quite sure how to act or what to do. Back at the apartment, everything was straightforward. They had their bubble and knew their roles. Out in the open like this, Alec was struck by the feeling that he still wanted Magnus just as badly, and somehow was very aware that even though he never simply took from him, Magnus wasn’t his in that moment. But despite all that, his body had other ideas and before he knew it he was stood at Magnus’s table. He didn’t sit down.

“I like the suit,” Magnus said, like they were old friends. “Business meeting?”

Alec had to clear his throat. “Accountant. And I hate the suit, just for the record.”

Magnus huffed out a laugh. He glanced at the door nervously as he started to shuffle the papers together. Alec didn’t really look at them. It made sense that Magnus was a student, even if he did look a little older than most of the others milling around the place. It might account for some of his embarrassment and definitely would make sense that he’d taken to sleeping with men for money. Even though Alec hadn’t gone to college, he knew that debts must rack up pretty quickly.

Alec sighed heavily, realizing that he was staring. He said “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” just as Magnus started to say, “I’m sorry about last week—”

Alec huffed out a laugh and smiled, feeling awkward. “That’s okay. I-I’d like to—Will you let me know when you’re free?” He knew it was a mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Magnus blushed and looked down at the table. “Sorry, sorry…” Magnus glanced at the door again and they way he did it had Alec asking, “Shit, are you working—waiting for someone?”

Magnus’s smile was tight. He looked strangely nervous, like he wanted Alec gone yesterday. “Yeah, I kinda—”

A scuffle at the door interrupted him, and Alec swore he saw Magnus curse under his breath as a rumpled and clearly flustered teenaged girl came tripping through the door and made straight for them. She landed in the chair opposite Magnus without so much as a glance at Alec, who just watched with wide-eyes as she started babbling and pulling books out of her bag, littering the table with papers.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I’m a late but the damn bus was late and then I bumped into Professor Emery in the quad and he started on giving me a hard time about that psych assignment that’s late and I thought I’d never get away and I’m really sorry but I’m freaking out and my parents are coming next week and oh my god, you have to help me because they’ll drag me home to Indiana if I fail your class, so please don’t fail me, sir, please I just—”

Finally, she noticed Alec standing there, her eyes tracking slowly up his body to his startled face, before looking back across the table at Magnus who was hanging his head.

Alec wanted to make a joke to break the tension but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything to say. Magnus could though.

“It’s alright, Janice. You’re not that late. Why don’t you get a coffee and take a breath.” He took his wallet from his back pocket and slipped a note across the table to her.

Janice took it with a mumbled, “Thanks, Professor,” and left them to it with a furtive look at Alec as she scurried past.

Magnus sighed heavily and slumped back in his seat, taking off his glasses and covering his face with his hands. Alec wasn’t sure what to do so he just cleared his throat and gestured to the door, even though Magnus wasn’t looking at him. “I guess I should leave you to it then.”

Magnus slowly pulled his hands down, looked ruffled and pink around the mouth and Alec found himself not wanting to kiss him any less. But Magnus was silent too long and Alec nodded and walked out of the coffee shop in a daze.

He didn’t get very far. Just a few steps away, there was a hand on his arm and suddenly Magnus was there. “I’m—I’m sorry. I didn’t want—” It seemed strange to see Magnus fight to get the words out when that was usually Alec’s department. “Look, can we talk?” Magnus’s face was earnest. “Not now obviously. I have deal with…but later? Not at the apartment. I don’t want to confuse things, I just—”

Alec was already nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” _Whatever you want._

Magnus’s shoulders seemed to relax and the smile he gave Alec was a world away from the closed off expression that had been plastered on his face in the coffee shop. “Good. Good. Okay then. I’ll—I’ll text you, okay?”

Alec smiled. “Okay.”

Magnus thumbed over his shoulder. “Okay, well, I should get back…” He started to turn but added, with a smirk, “I wasn’t kidding about the suit, Alec. It looks good.” Somehow he managed to make it sound like he thought it would look better on the bedroom floor and Alec hoped—prayed—he hadn’t fucked things up between them after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ Finally topped 2000 Hits! Thank you, guys!
> 
> Although that might just be me obsessively checking for spelling mistakes...
> 
> Either way, thank you so much for the love, and kudos and comments ♥
> 
> This marks the start of something and I'm kinda excited about what you're going to think of it...there'll be more smut soonish, at least. Posting a little early today as I'm drowning in editing right now so I'm skipping breakfast to get this to you. I'm that dedicated 😉
> 
> Also...while I think of it...anyone else watching the 'hard-as-hell-pancakes' vid Harry posted on IG? 😍 I have a tab permanently open with it playing on repeat and my life is so much better for it ♥
> 
> See you next weeeek! xx


	16. First reeds sprout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a sea change occurs. The end of the beginning maybe?  
In hindsight, I should have added a pool table 😉  
Tags updated.

Magnus had considered canceling but he knew that would only draw out the inevitable. Fleeing was an increasingly attractive prospect though as he walked to the place Alec had suggested they meet. The sick feeling in his gut was making it hard to breathe and he was half-afraid he was going to barf all over his shoes as he approached the out-of-the-way pub. The only consolation he had was that he was arriving early enough to theoretically have a sneaky drink or two to calm himself down before Alec arrived.

Except when he pushed through the doors, Alec had clearly had the same thought. He was right there at the bar, looking delicious in blue jeans and his big winter coat, pulling a note from his wallet just about to pass it over to the barman who had his hand out waiting. Alec spotted him though, turning when he heard the door swing open, and left the guy hanging until Magnus got close.

"Hi."

"Hi." This was going to be so awkward, Magnus wondered if it would be better to simply turn around and walk out, ghost the guy and avoid all this.

"You wanna drink?"

Magnus nodded, trying not to melt at the sound of Alec's voice. "Sure. Mineral water is fine."

"You driving?"

"No. But I have a class to teach later so…" Magnus hadn't meant to bring up his day job so quickly but the words had slipped out. Although, given that it was kind of what they were there to talk out, it didn't matter so much. His two worlds had already collided. The damage was done. This was salvage mission.

Alec seemed to be on the same page in the discomfort stakes, nodding awkwardly before repeating Magnus's order to the barman who got right to it with no judgement it seemed.

With no chance to escape, Magnus looked about and spotted a free table crammed into a quiet corner of the room near the back. He pointed over at it and made a vague noise before scuttling off to claim the seats, if only to get away from Alec for a minute. He blamed the slight giddiness on being so nervous and not at all anything to do with being so close to a man whose body seemed to do as much for him clothed as it did naked.

Squeezing his eyes closed for second, determined to will that thought out of his head, he opened them to find Alec settling into the seat opposite and sliding his water over to him on a paper coaster. "You find the place okay?"

Magnus nodded, stalling while he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Yes. The benefits of google maps I guess. This one of your hangouts?"

"Uh, no." Alec smiled as he shook his head but it wasn't from amusement. "Don't exactly want to run into anyone I know while we…y'know."

"Yeah. Yeah, I get that." Alec's situation made Magnus feel melancholy and not for the first time, but he understood all too well Alec had to do what was necessary to protect himself.

Alec hmmed and shucked off his jacket—to reveal a dark shirt left unbuttoned at the collar enough to reveal a t-shirt underneath and a glimpse of chest hair—laying it over the back of his seat as if he was settling in for the duration. He didn't look over at Magnus, not until he'd taken a swig from the bottle of beer in from of him. "You know you don't owe me any explanation—"

"I know," Magnus said, maybe a little too quickly. "But I didn't want to just leave you—" he made a vague gesture as if there was a phrase that should have come after which was obvious.

"Oh, I know," Alec said, even though Magnus wasn't sure if he did. "I just wanted you to know that I won't say anything or… Y'know, I'm not even sure which one is your day job?"

Magnus frowned but only until he saw the slight tease of a smile on Alec's lips. "Funny." Magnus managed to keep the retort neutral but it turned the tease into a smile like he wanted. "Truth be told, I uh…" He sighed, leaning one elbow on the table and rubbed at his temple. "I don't actually…I mean, I'm a teacher. I haven't actually, y'know," _had sex for money_, "since college."

Alec's brow furrowed. "Apart from me."

"Apart from you," Magnus confirmed, wondering if that somehow made it better or worse.

Alec took another drink. "So, why me? I mean, why now?"

"Same reason as back in college, to be honest." Magnus shrugged. "I needed the money."

"You in trouble?" The caring in Alec's tone kinda took Magnus by surprise and he had to shake his head to will it away.

"No. Well, not me. My, uh…my mom. She got sick. My parents came close to losing the house. I sold my apartment and my car to help out but I needed some money to tide me over."

"Jesus, Magnus, I'm sorry."

Magnus smiled, hoping it might wipe some of the guilt off Alec's face. "She's okay now thankfully. I mentioned it to Raphael, the guy you emailed initially? He said he had some work if I wanted it. I told him I would but just once."

"Just…once." Alec looked confused. "But…"

"But then you were just so—I don't know. I wasn't going to leave you to crawl back into the closet after you trusted me."

"Well, now I feel fucking awful." Alec hung his head, both hands clutching the bottle in front of him until Magnus reached out and discretely covered the fist he was making with his hand.

"Hey. It wasn't like I hated it, Alec. I had fun. I liked being there with you."

When Alec looked up, his expression was so lost, Magnus wanted to lean over the table and kiss him. "_Liked?_ That sounds final."

Despite having rehearsed what needed to be said and going over and over in his mind what the best course of action would be, Magnus wasn't sure what to say now faced with the look of disappointment in Alec's eyes.

"Okay, look." Magnus straightened up and doing his best to appear as if he meant business. "I have a career that would be over faster than I could clear my desk if anyone knew about—our arrangement." Alec tried to pull away, sitting back in his chair but Magnus kept tight hold of his hand. "Now you know who I am and, well, it changes things. So—I want to propose a different arrangement."

It wasn't what he'd meant to say. Not at all. But then Alec was suddenly looking all kinds of hopeful and Magnus was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to back out.

"What kind of arrangement? Cause if it's more money…"

Magnus shook his head. "No, no. Kinda the opposite. I don't need your money and I can't let you keep paying me." _Not when I'm getting as much out of it as you._ "So let's ditch all that. You wanted to know if you were…" Magnus didn't want to out Alec in a semi-public place but Alec got the gist and nodded so Magnus went on. "And I think we've established that you are?"

"Several times," Alec murmured, red tinting his cheeks as he tried to hide his smile behind the beer his was bring to his lips.

Magnus felt his cheeks heat and was mildly horrified that he was blushing. "Well, then I guess stage one is complete. Maybe we should move onto stage two."

"Which is?"

"Making you dateable."

Alec looked equal parts horrified and offended. "You think I'm not dateable?"

"Oh, no, I do," Magnus said in a hurry, reaching out to touch him again but thinking better of it and aborting halfway across the table. "I just think you could do with developing some confidence. Help you get comfortable with the idea. Maybe get some advice on dating while gay. I can take you to some places you could meet someone when you think you're ready for a relationship. Grinder is great but not totally safe or good for the ego."

Alec looked doubtful. "When you say, practice?" For a second, Magnus felt crushed. That was until Alec went on. "Do you mean like, friends with benefits?"

It wasn't, at least not consciously, but the glint in Alec's eye had Magnus's mouth spluttering, "Yes. Absolutely. If that's what you want," before Magnus even had time to think about it.

"Yeah," Alec responded, the only hesitation coming when he ran his heated gaze over Magnus's body and up to his eyes, lingering on his mouth for a fraction too long on the way. "Yeah, I want."

"Okay, then," Magnus said in a rush of breath.

"I do have one question though." Magnus frowned, suddenly anxious at what Alec could possibly want to know. Once he'd nodded, he was a little relieved when Alec smiled shyly and asked, "Is your name really Magnus?"

Magnus laughed. "Yes, yes, it is. My parents kinda like the unusual. How about you? You really an Alec?"

Alec shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah. Short for Alexander but no one really calls me that."

"Alexander," Magnus hummed, taking a moment to appreciate the way Alec's eyes dilated at the sound. "I like it." The way Alec relaxed back in the chair spreading his legs and looking so delicious, had Magnus making a mental note to definitely use as often as possible. After all, that's what friends were for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweetpeas! Thank you so much for the love and comments and subscriptions! You're just the best ❤️❤️
> 
> I'd love to know if you saw that coming or what you might think is coming next (or who 😉) Just for funsies.  
Mark your calendars for Friday coz there will be sexytimes!  
Also let me know if you thing I should add/subtract anything from the tags.
> 
> Hope you have a good week, angels xx


	17. Last frost, rice seedlings grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little NSFW... ♥

As much as it had seemed like a good idea at the time, for the next couple of weeks practicalities managed to conspire against them actually meeting up for sex or anything else. Between Magnus being caught up with work—his teaching work that was—and Alec having a running battle with his suppliers, neither of them had a window to meet for a coffee or a beer, let alone afford them enough time to find any privacy for other activities.

Which was why, when Alec’s cell beeped with a text that simply said "_You busy? My meeting got cancelled. I’m in Queens_" he didn’t even bother checking with Jace before typing "_I can be there in 20. Send me the address._"

"I have to go take care of something." Alec called out to his brother as he jogged down the steps of the site office and over to his car, managing to pull his jacket on with his cell still in his hand.

Jace looked up from where he was looming over a set of plans spread out in the flatbed of someone’s truck. "Now?"

"I’ll be two hours, tops."

Jace frowned as he held up his wrist, pulling the sleeve of his coat back to check his watch. "You won’t. The architect’s coming at four, remember?"

Freezing mid-step, Alec cursed under his breath, and ran the flat of his hand across his mouth before quickly typing out, "_I can’t stay long. Got to be back for four. Still want me?_"

Three little dots waved at him as Jace called over. "Everything okay? Is it one of the kids? Coz I can cover for you–"

The phone beeped. "_Hell, yes. I know a place that rents by the hourSee you in 20. M_"

Alec huffed out a laugh as an address popped up on his screen. "Kids are fine, I just…" _want to get laid more than I want to stand around in the mud listening to hammering and angle grinders?_ "I might have found us another supplier for the roofing."

"Sweet." Jace seemed to accept the explanation which both surprised and disappointed Alec somehow. He didn’t think he was that good of a liar but he sure as hell hoped Jace hadn’t always been so gullible. "You want me to come with?"

_No. No I do not_. Alec shrugged like he didn’t care much. "Nah, I’m not sure how it’ll pan out. Plus I need you here just in case I get delayed."

Jace gave him a half-hearted wave and a vague, "Later then," then went back to trying to figure out the stupid plans before their meeting that afternoon.

As he hot-footed it through traffic that was mercifully moving, for once the guilt Alec was experiencing wasn’t about the fact he was gonna get his dick sucked, but that he’d lied to his brother and skipped out on his job in the middle of the day to do it. A couple of months ago he would never have even considered being so selfish, not for anything, let alone for sex. It was like he didn’t even know himself anymore. But even that wasn’t enough for him to turn back, even though he had the opportunity more than once on the way.

When he found a place to park, which was only a quick walk from the motel, he was already half-hard from the anticipation and his heart was beating so fast he damn near ran the three blocks to the door just to have an excuse for being breathless when he got there. He’d had visions of some seedy fleapit when he saw Magnus had texted him a room number but the place looked clean enough and he didn’t feel the need to hide his face when he slipped in the main doors.

The stairs up to the second floor weren’t carpeted but the hallway was, so his footsteps were muffled as he came to stand in front of the room. He paused only a second before knocking, then started to unzip his jacket ready to slip it off before the door even opened.

When it did, he was so taken aback by the pleased look on Magnus’s face—the lustful slant of his smile, the way his shirt pulled tight across his chest and the lip gloss glinting in the artificial light—Alec lost his mind for a second, surging forward and cupping Magnus’s jaw with both hands, drawing him into a kiss as he walked him back into the room and pressed him up against the wall as the door closed behind him.

Magnus squeaked as Alec crowded into him but didn’t seem to object, carding his hands up into Alec’s hair for a second, pulling him closer before sliding his hands down and pushing Alec’s coat from his shoulders. Once it had dropped to the floor, Magnus started yanking Alec’s shirt free from his pants, desperately working his hands underneath to roam over Alec’s hot skin.

"How long do we have?" he asked between kisses.

Alec softened his knees and bent his head down to suck at the sensitive spot below the hinge of Magnus’s jaw. "Fifteen, twenty minutes."

"Shit." Alec wasn’t sure if Magnus was cursing their window or liking what Alec was doing with his tongue. He figured it was the latter when Magnus slipped a thigh between his legs and canted his hips up.

They both moaned at the sensation of the others erection against them and even fully clothed something about it felt wildly erotic. Alec found Magnus’s mouth again, kissing him deeper, almost wanting to cry with how good it felt to have him against him and needy. Magnus seemed to be on the same page, his fingers dragging Alec ever closer, his nails digging into the meat of his back, scratching slightly as they rutted against one another. It should have stupid—juvenile or something—but Alec figured he’d never got to have this as a teenager so what the hell.

The urge for more and closer still had him yanking Magnus’s shirt up. Getting his hands on the golden skin of his hips made him moan, but it wasn’t half as delightful as when he realized he had enough room to slip his hand down the back of Magnus’s pants and into his underwear. The way the firm globes of Magnus’s ass tensed as he ground up against him was heavenly, but as he pressed one finger between them into the hot cleft, Magnus’s head pulled away, falling back, his eyes closed tight.

"Fuck. Oh god, Alec, I’m coming. You’re making me…oh fuck."

A sound came from Alec’s throat that he had no hand in making. The sight of Magnus falling apart in his arms, had him rutting harder and his fingers more insistently finding their mark as he felt his own orgasm start to peak.

When Alec pressed his fingertip to Magnus’s asshole, and Magnus’s mouth opened softly and he started to pant, his whole body stiffening and his fingertips digging painfully into Alec’s back. The sight of him so open and vulnerable pushed Alec over the edge and he had to drop his head to rest on Magnus’s shoulder as he grunted and came in his pants like he was closer to fifteen not forty.

It wasn’t until he was cleaning up in the bathroom afterwards—resigning himself to going commando for the rest of the day—that he realized he might have made a mistake.

Magnus was sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone when he stepped out, and looked up, smiling, when he heard Alec close the bathroom door.

"I’m sorry," Alec started as he pulled on his coat, then backtracked when he saw the concern sweep onto Magnus’s face. "I mean…did I fuck up?"

Magnus’s brow furrowed. "Uh, I don’t—"

"I kissed you," Alec blurted. "I feel like I should have asked if that was okay but I just fucking—" _barged in here and took you_. The wide smile that spread over Magnus’s face shut him up.

"You just managed to make me come in about thirty seconds without even getting my pants off and you’re worried about the kiss?" Magnus’s tone was teasing but not cruel and Alec’s cheeks heated up. "I liked the kissing, Alec. I like it a lot, if you didn’t notice. You’re rather good at it."

Instead of dying with embarrassment, Alec just dipped his chin down and said quietly, "Me too. I mean I liked it. Kissing you."

There was a beat when either of them could have filled the silence but before they could, Alec’s cell beeped in his pocket. As if coordinated, their eyes met, they smiled softly, exhaled an amused huff and let reality seep back in.

"That’ll be work. I gotta go. Sorry."

Magnus shrugged as he stood up. "Hey. No problem. Thanks for, uh." He let out a laugh as he walked Alec to the door. "Well, just thanks. It was fun."

Alec opened the door and had to agree. "Yeah it was. Hey, you should let me pay for the room though." He stopped reaching for his wallet when he saw the dismissive look on Magnus’s face.

"My treat. You can get it next time."

_Next time._

"Sounds good. Let me know when you’re free, yeah?"

"I will." Magnus leaned against the door as Alec backed away down the hall, not really wanting to leave. "You have a good day. And Alec? I had a really good time."

There was a second where Alec thought maybe he should go back, kiss Magnus goodbye. But he didn’t, and spent the rest of the day vacillating between crushing regret and thinking he was an idiot for even contemplating it in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darling Hearts! Hope the ass-end of the week finds you well and that the slide into the weekend is seamless.  
Thank you as always for all your support. I've been having a stressful few weeks and your hearts and comments and general presence has be getting me through it better than anything else. Yes, even cocktails. I appreciate it all so much ♥
> 
> Dropping my obligatory note here that, in real-life, make sure you stay safe-sane-consentual whatever you're taking part in. Fiction should never be a guideline for your experience. Comfort levels may vary, even between encounters, so be good to yourself and others ♥


	18. Peonies bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping that anyone needing audio assistance will get the dialogue from the image here...  
Text Messages on Alec's phone.
> 
> Magnus - Hey. You want to grab a drink later?  
Alec - By drink I'm assuming you mean...  
Magnus - Lol...maybe.  
Alec - Not sure an educator should be saying lol.  
Magnus - I'm texting you for sex. Alec. I think I'm allowed to lol.  
Alec - I thought you wanted a drink.  
Magnus - That too. You know you don't have to put out just because I ask right?  
Alec - I know. That goes both ways.  
Magnus - So, is that a yes?  
Alec - Lol. I can't. I have plans. Tomorrow?  
Magnus - Oh, the hypocrisy! 6.30?  
Alec - Sounds good.
> 
> ♥

"Here."

Alec quickly turned the face of his phone down, laying it on the bench next to him so he could take the coffee Jace was shoving in his face. It was warm for April but they were stuck in the shade, watching Madison blow off steam in the playground so the heat from the cup was welcome.

"You texting your girlfriend?"

The gut-wrenching tension that lanced through Alec's gut was a learned response, he knew that, but his self-awareness didn't make it any less painful or shameful. Every time he thought there was a chance that he was going to be caught out it was the same thing, although being that he'd had years of practice at hiding his feelings, it was easy for him to relax his shoulders, huff out a laugh and say, "Definitely not," as he leaned back against the park bench.

Jace dropped down beside him with a grunt, and followed Alec's gaze out the where Madison was bossing a bunch of girls around in some weird game that involved the jungle gym and a lot of random screaming. "If you say so. How's Maddie doing?"

"Alright, I think. Better than Cate."

"She get into it with Lydia again?"

Alec nodded. He felt so fucking guilty about the breakdown of his marriage, but the fact that his ex-wife was the one getting that blame for something that wasn't really anyone's fault weighed on him. Some days it felt like maybe they would have been better off staying together for the sake of the kids even though they'd both agreed doing so would kill them both.

"I don't know what to do with her. It's like she's determined to fight a battle that's already over and done with."

"She's probably just worried about you. About you being hurt." Jace sipped his coffee and draped one arm along the back of the bench. "Lydia did start up this thing with Raj awful quick after you split."

Alec couldn't help but frown at that. "Nah, it wasn't like that. Lydia's just not that kind of person. They were friends a long time. He was there when she needed someone. I think he's a good fit for her."

There was a huff of amusement and Alec tore his eyes away from where Madison was racing around, to find Jace watching him with a smirk on his face. "Since when were you Team Raj?"

"Shut up."

"Seriously though, have you said any of this to Cate? 'Cause I know how you get."

"How's that?"

Jace shrugged and looked away. "You know. You're crap at talking about your feelings." Alec let out a hurt sound but his brother went on determinedly. "No, you are. I'm not saying you're a caveman or anything but actually getting the words out is a whole other thing. You might have thought you've explained this to her but I bet you a slice of pie you haven't, not really."

Jace wasn't wrong, but it was annoying all the same. Alec had always had a hard time expressing himself, probably a side effect of being overly cautious about letting anyone get close to the feelings he'd been guarding his whole life. But he was getting better, at least in some ways. Being with Magnus was certainly helping, if only by making him use his words to get what he wanted in bed. Maybe he could start using his new found voice to actually express himself about other things outside of the bedroom.

He sighed but then caught a glimpse of a gaggle of teenage girls making their way across the street to the park. Caitlyn peeled off when they got to the gate and came tramping over, her heavy backpack dragging one shoulder low, matching the way her dark hair fell over her face as she walked with her head down. Alec shook his head fondly at her, wishing he could do something to make her walk straight, face up to the sunlight, praying this goth thing was just a phase. "Maybe you could talk to her. It might be less confrontational coming from her favorite uncle."

Jace had enough time to muttered, "Chickenshit," before Caitlyn got to the bench. She gave them a semi-cheerful, "Hey," before slumping down between them and leaning into her father's side when he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to plant a kiss on her hair.

"How was school?"

"Endless. Jeanette got suspended for punching a guy so that was something."

"Glad to hear you're focusing on the important stuff."

"Hey, it was an injustice! He's been harassing her for weeks and the teachers wouldn't do anything. Her parents should sue."

Alec kissed her again, oddly proud. "Well, when you're a lawyer, you can represent her."

They chatted for a minute about nothing but when the conversation slowed Alec felt Jace bump Caitlyn with his elbow. "What's this I hear about you giving your mom a hard time?" Her eye-roll was almost audible. "Look, I know you might feel weird about her dating. And if you're worried about your dad being alone—" Her snort of derision took them both by surprise.

Alec pulled away a little so he could look down at her, feeling offended. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Please," she said, bending over to unzip her bag and rifle through one of the pockets. "Like I don't see you texting and smiling at your phone like an idiot. I mean it's cool and everything but also kinda gross 'cause you're my dad…"

The way Jace's head turned to look at him in slow motion, his mouth stretching out into a wide grin as he came to face him. "Yes, Alec. Is there something you wanna share?"

It would have been funny if it hadn't been so scary. Alec opened his mouth but nothing came out, which was probably for the best, being that the truth was dancing on the tip of his tongue. In the end, Caitlyn, sat back and shook her head at him. "It's okay. You're allowed to have a girlfriend, dad."

"Yeah, Alec," Jace said with a smirk. "Don't be shy. Tell us all about her"

"Oh my God," Alec muttered. "I don't have a girlfriend." The words came out in a rush of breath. "And if I was seeing someone." He tried to ignore the looks of delight on Jace and Caitlyn's faces. "_If_ I was, it wouldn't be serious enough to call them anything like that."

"But you're dating someone?" Jace asked softly.

"I'm not sure I would say dating either."

Caitlyn frowned at him. "So what do you do then?"

And oh, how Alec wasn't ready to answer that question. "We…hang out."

"You mean have sex?"

Jace's barking laugh definitely came from the same surprise that Alec was feeling at Caitlyn saying something so plainly. Alec felt a little like laughing too but it was more hysteria than anything.

"Enough." Alec pushed her until she slid off the seat with a smile. "Go get your sister so we can go eat."

"We going to Joe's?"

"Yeah. But only if you're quick." Caitlyn seemed placated and rushed off to grab Madison, leaving Alec to deal with Jace, who was still chuckling away to himself. "And you can shut the hell up. You're supposed to be helping."

"I helped. Took her mind of things didn't it. Plus it sounds like she's cool with you moving on. Maybe it'll help with things at home." Alec didn't feel convinced. As he made a move to stand, bringing Caitlyn's bag onto his shoulder as he stood, Jace grabbed his arm. "Hey. I know I've been hanging my hopes on you and Lydia getting back together but I'm happy for you, man. I'm glad you found someone."

Huffing out a laugh, Alec shook his head. "Don't go getting excited. It's nothing serious."

"Yeah, well." Jace dumped his coffee cup in the trash can next to the bench. "You seem happier lately, so don't go writing whoever it is off too quick, okay?"

It was a bit of a surprise when Alec found himself answering, "Not planning on it," and realized that he meant it. Still, the next time his phone buzzed in his pocket, he waited until he was alone to check out Magnus's text. And given how much it made him smile, he was glad he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lambkins!  
We're a quarter of the way through, can you believe it!  
Thank you so much for all the love and comments and subscriptions, it makes such a difference to getting me up in the morning. You're the bestest.
> 
> I've had another plot bunny featuring these two but I won't be writing anything until this is finished (I don't want to get sidetracked and we have a way to go here) but omg...I have a feeling it might be epic...
> 
> Anyway. Hope you have a great start to the week and see you Friday-ish! ♥


	19. Frogs start singing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Magnus and Ragnor bonding.  
I know nothing about restaurants or food or anything...

Rather than watch his brother pacing outside the restaurant window, yelling at whoever had the misfortune to interrupt their lunch, Magnus scrolled through his text messages and polished off the last of the char siew pork. Unthinking, he snapped a photo of the plate in front of him sent it to Alec.

It was something they'd started doing in the last couple of weeks although he wasn't sure who'd made the first move. He thought maybe it suited Alec better, hinting at what was going on in his life without words. Sometimes he'd send a shot of his boots and work pants covered in mud up to his knees, and Magnus would respond with a picture of the stack of essays he was marking with a glass of whiskey next to it for scale. Alec liked emojis and Magnus smiled insanely hard when he used the frowny face as much in emoji form as he did in real life. There were pictures of his office at work, the shaving cut he'd given himself one morning, his hand down his pants. They'd made the move to video call pretty soon after that one.

It wasn't always practical to meet up, they were both busy after all, and neither were keen to bring the other into their home. That would be too much like a reality check for either of them and there was an unspoken agreement that they both wanted to hang on to the fantasy, the bubble, they'd created in Raphael's apartment a little longer. Although, watching the shaky image on his laptop of Alec coming all over his hairy chest had Magnus's heart aching to touch. He still came with Alec's voice in his ear and his eyes on him which was better than nothing, but Alec had looked a little ashamed afterwards though, so Magnus wasn't sure Skype-sex would replace their meetings anytime soon. Not being able to reassure him was unacceptable.

"Everything okay?" Ragnor dropped back into his seat, pulling his napkin onto his lap and managing to knock the table with his leg so all the tableware clanked together alarmingly.

"Yup," Magnus said, slipping his cell back in his pocket. "You?"

"Some idiot over-ordered at the wholesaler." Ragnor rolled his eyes. "We're going to have to put fucking broccoli with everything for the next week."

Magnus frowned. "It's not even in season?"

Ragnor splayed out his hands as if to say I know right? But instead said, "Did you eat all the pork?"

Magnus shrugged, unrepentant, shoving the last piece in his mouth. "Just order some more." He had no qualms about eating all the food. This was one of their regular 'research' lunches, wherein Ragnor dragged him out to some obscure hole-in-the-wall eatery that he'd heard was half-way decent, to scope out the competition and get ideas for the new menu. It was something he could easily do alone or with one of his kitchen staff but for some reason he trusted Magnus's opinion more. And the bill was tax-deductible so…

"What did you think of the laksa?"

Magnus shrugged again. "It's good. Not as good as yours."

"Better than dad's?"

Magnus leveled his brother with a look that he hope showed his complete distain for that line of questioning. "Nobody's is better than dad's. Yours is as good but I couldn't choose between them, and you'd be an asshole for ever asking me to."

Ragnor grunted like he thought Magnus was just humoring him. "This rendang though." Ragnor dragged his fork through the sauce on his plate as if he could break it into its component parts by sheer will alone. "That is good. Can't quite put my finger on it."

Magnus could only hum in agreement and take another bite of the tender beef. This used to be a game they played as kids. Or rather a competition that their dad would have them act outevery time they sat down to eat, much to their mother's dismay. Flavor profiles, subtleties of texture and seasoning, guessing the recipe from just one bite. It was probably why Magnus had drifted away from anything culinary. And why Ragnor was still trying to win.

"Do you think it's the chili? Are they using something other than sambal?"

Ragnor dropped his fork in a typically dramatic fashion. "It staggers me that someone with your refined fucking palate can't even boil water, you know that? I should put you on retainer."

Magnus smirked across the table and wiped the sauce from Ragnor's plate with a piece of roti. "You're buying me lunch. Same thing."

There was a only a second of warning before Ragnor hit him with his serious face. "Are you doing okay? For money, I mean."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'm managing."

"I still can't believe you sold your apartment."

"You didn't tell dad—"

Ragnor laughed. "Do I look suicidal? No, he still thinks the money came from the three of us."

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. "To be honest, I miss my car more. Trying to get down to see them is such a pain in the ass."

"It looks like the insurance will come through. Dad's already making noises about paying us back." Ragnor took a breath, "but if you need help in the meantime—"

"I'm good, honestly. I, uh, I got a second job for a while but now I can live on my meager wage and my new place isn't so bad."

"Its a shithole, Magnus. You deserve better."

Magnus smiled. "Maybe. But it's temporary."

His brother hmmed. "You certainly seem happier in a weird way."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Ragnor shrugged. "I don't know. You just—" he circled his hand in Magnus's general direction. "Smiling and not being such a bitch about everything."

Magnus clutched his pearls for effect. Or at least the place where pearls should be. "How dare you. I work damn hard to be a bitch."

Ragnor laughed and dabbed at his mouth with his napkin. "Whatever. If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you were dating."

Magnus coughed, the image of Alec's 'O' face and come clinging to his nipple popping into his head, but he managed to shake his head free of it and say, "I most definitely do not have time for that. Maybe it's just the laksa," even when he felt his cell vibrate in his pocket and just knew it would be a picture of a burger from the place Alec ordered lunch every other day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are all doing okay!  
...and washing your hands.  
I have the sniffles but nothing more, hence the update being a little late. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the loves. There are about 140 subscribers now which is craaaazy, and I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you.
> 
> Hope this ch was okay! Next up...smut. See you Tuesday-ish, Lovelies! ♥


	20. Worms surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which sexytimes occur...and...well, you can check the notes at the end 🙂

Alec looked at his watch as he paced outside the hotel, balking at the fact he was late and trying not to curse down the phone. "You can't do this, Lydia. I bought the tickets already. We made plans."

"_I'm sorry_," she said although she didn't sound sorry. Tired, maybe and exasperated but there wasn't one ounce of regret in her voice. The fact she was using the same tone that she used on the kids when they were being unreasonable, was grating on him more than anything. "_If you had told me then I would have rearranged. We are literally standing outside the theatre now. You wanna tell your daughter she has to wait until the weekend to see this movie? 'Cause I don't._"

It made it worse that she had a point. He had told her that he would take Madison to see the movie she'd been going on and on about but he hadn't said when or told Lydia that he'd already got them tickets for when he had the girls at the weekend. In truth, he'd been looking forward to it. Not so much the two hours crammed into a tiny seat watching some stupid cartoon, but seeing Maddie's face all lit up. Even Caitlyn seemed secretly excited about going with them, and the thought that he had something special planned with his girls for the weekend was the only thing getting him through his dreadful week. Well—that and the fact that Magnus was waiting for him in a room a few feet away.

"No, god," Alec sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, finally admitting defeat. "A heads up would have been nice though."

"_I could say the same,_" Lydia hissed down the phone. "_Ralph just wanted to do something nice for the girls. It's not his fault—_"

"_Ralph?_ He's there with you? This was his idea?"

A random guy passing by made eye contact with Alec as he raised his voice, obviously trying to gauge whether he should be walking faster or crossing the street. "Actually, you know what? You go and have a great time with Ralph and my fucking kids and I'll talk to you later."

"_Alec. Come on—_"

"No, Lydia. I'm hanging up before I say something we both regret."

If he had been at home, he would have lobbed the phone against the wall just to have the satisfaction of hearing it shatter. Being that he was in the street, he figured it would be better to shove the thing as hard as he could into his pocket, bottling up his anger, and raced inside and up the stairs.

The room number Magnus had texted to him wasn't the same as the last time they'd been there but when Magnus opened the door, the interior was pretty much identical. Not that Alec really noticed. He was still fuming from the call and barely even registered the bright smile Magnus gave him or the way his shirt hung open as he stormed passed and ripped his coat from his shoulders.

Magnus blinked, and slowly closed the door. "Everything okay?"

"Fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

Magnus recoiled from the harsh tone, blinking in surprise, clearly not expecting it or the way Alec was clenching and unclenching his fists. "You don't look okay?"

Alec didn't feel okay, hating every word that came out of his mouth, especially when he pushed past Magnus to go to the bathroom and splash some water on his face, saying, "Well, maybe you should lower your expectations. You should be used to it spending all that time on your knees."

It wasn't until he was staring at the water dripping down his face in the bathroom mirror that he realized what an utter asshole he'd been. Quickly wiping his face with the scratchy towel, he went back out, only to find Magnus dressed and pulling on his shoes. "You're leaving?"

Magnus wouldn't even look at him. "If I want to get insulted, there are plenty of places I can go for that. I don't need it from you. Besides," he said with a sigh as he got to his feet. "You don't really seem like you're in the mood so—"

Grabbing his jacket, Magnus started to walk to the door. The fear that gripped Alec was somewhat overwhelming and he practically threw himself in his path with his hands up in an effort to placate him. "Shit, no. Please, just—please don't, I—" Magnus gave him a withering look and tried to skirt around him, but Alec grabbed his biceps and held him tight. "Please don't go. I'm—I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that or—shit, please stay. Please." Magnus didn't say anything but he relaxed a little with every 'please' and stopped trying to pull out of Alec's grip. Regardless, Alec didn't seem to be able to let go and pulled him close, dipping his head to brush his cheek against Magnus's. "Don't leave."

"You're an asshole if you think I'm just going to forget about it." Magnus sounded mad still but like his resolve was wavering.

"I know. I am. I just—I feel like everyone is leaving me. I don't know what to do and—" Alec wasn't sure what he was going to say or where he was going with it but either way it didn't matter when Magnus surprised him by cutting off his train of thought with a gentle kiss on the mouth.

When Magnus pulled back, Alec wanted to laugh at the shocked expression on Magnus's face, being that Magnus had been the one who kissed him, although he dropped it pretty quickly before asking, "You want to talk about it?"

Alec shook his head, capturing Magnus's lips again as he walked him backward until the backs of Magnus's legs hit the edge of the bed. "Let me make it up to you."

"Yeah?" Magnus lips quirked up into a lopsided smile. "And how are you gonna do that, grumpy?"

"A-anything." Alec stumbled over the word, half-regretting saying something so stupid before he'd even finished it. "Anything you want."

The regret intensified when Magnus placed a hand on his chest and pushed back. It wasn't anything as much as a shove, but the firm pressure made Alec take step away. "Anything, huh? That sounds tempting."

"Within reason," Alec added, his voice weak and thready under Magnus lascivious stare.

"Nu-uh," Magnus shook his head. "Too late. You offered."

Alec swallowed hard as Magnus slowly looked him up and down, clearly calculating exactly what he wanted. It should have been frightening—given that they really didn't know each other that well—but Alec found himself strangely calmed. He'd always trusted Magnus for some reason, even though he wasn't sure why. And Magnus hadn't steered him wrong yet. The more he thought about giving himself over to what ever Magnus suggested, the more excited he got. Or at least his dick started to thicken and strain against the seam of his pants.

"You hurt my feelings, Alexander," Magnus started, holding up a finger when Alec opened his mouth to interrupt. "I think I'd like to see you on your knees."

It shocked Alec just how quickly he started to fold to the floor, although he stopped when Magnus made a noise of admonishment. "Clothes off first, I think."

Alec had never gotten undressed so quickly in his life. He was pretty sure he heard the seam of his t-shirt rip as he wrestled it over his head and felt the sting of the polyester carpeting burning his knees as he fell to them in the middle of the room. Magnus was still standing at the side of the bed, looking almost breathless, wide-eyed and flushed, taking in the earnest look on Alec's face, like it was all he was living for in that moment.

"Well, aren't you a picture." When Magnus smiled, it was still somehow kind, even though Alec didn't feel like he deserved it. Slowly, Magnus sat on the edge of the bed. Lifting one foot, he pulled off his shoe and dropped it to one side before he took off the other. "You can jerk off if you want but if you come before I say so, I'm leaving. Understand?"

A noise came out of Alec's throat before he could stop it. They hadn't played this kind of game before, hadn't even really talked about it with intent but being that he went from half-hard to his cock being rock solid in about a half a second, he was definitely kind of into it. He managed to squeak out a, "Yes," without blurting out _please don't go, I'm sorry, I'll be good,_ like a needy bitch but it was close.

It seemed like he might as well have spoken the words aloud though, when the smile Magnus was giving him went from kind to knowing and utterly wicked in the blink of an eye. Alec thought Magnus was planning on getting naked too, when he slipped off his socks, then unbuttoned his shirt, but he only pulled his jeans down enough to be able to pull out his cock to jerk himself slow as his hungry gaze raked over Alec's body.

"You're too far away," Magnus growled eventually. Alec didn't crawl, but he shuffled closer, walking on his knees like a penitent. Magnus made a happy sigh so it was clearly the right thing to do, although he grumbled when Alec got too close. "No touching."

Alec wanted to whine. He was stroking himself in time with what Magnus was doing, feeling his orgasm start to coil when Magnus began making the little 'oh' noises that were a dead give away. And when Magnus's rasping voice told him, "Open your mouth. Open," Alec could only obey, leaning forward and sticking out his tongue as he closed his eyes.

Magnus growled but didn't come on his face or in his mouth and Alec was disappointed for a second. That was until Magnus pressed his salty, wet fingers onto Alec's tongue, saying, "Come on, Angel. Let's see it." Then he was coming so hard he didn't know how he felt other than fan-_fucking_-tastic.

He was so high from it, he dragged his spent, sweaty body up onto the bed, crawling over Magnus as he laughed and fell back, caged beneath Alec, the rough fabric of Magnus's jeans rasping against Alec's naked thighs as he kissed his way up Magnus's chest to his throat and the line of his jaw. When Alec felt the L-word dancing on his tongue he swallowed it down and looked for something more appropriate to say.

"I'm really fucking sorry about before, but goddamn, Magnus. That was… damn."

"You like that, huh?" Magnus was smirking and looking so pleased with himself.

"Apparently. Did you?"

Magnus danced his fingers along the line of Alec's shoulder before running them up the back of his neckand into his hair. "Yeah," he whispered as he drew Alec down into a kiss. "Not so much how we got there, but yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, this chapter is not setting a precedent, either with Alec being a douchecanoe (he's never going to speak to Magnus like that again) or with the D/s undertones. They might off the page but this won't be turning into a powerplay fic. 
> 
> Darlinghearts, I really hope you're all okay...and that's all I'm going to mention about youknowwhat. Thank you so much for all the love and comments and everything. They really do make my day. Looking forward to seeing your reaction to Friday's installment...mwahaahaha! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Also... this is a fictional story. Please ensure you practice safe sex at all times for your protection and that of your sexual partner. And btw, the content in this ch is not good practice in terms of safe sane and consensual. Don't do this. Talk first, spanking later.  
I do not endorse unsafe sexual practices outside of fiction.


	21. Bamboo shouts sprout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which there is Magnus and Raphael bonding time and a soupcon of a morsel of a fraction of a hint about...well, you'll see x

Magnus winced at the screeching noise the hangers in his closet made as he pushed them from one side of the rail to the other, trying to find the puce colored shirt he wanted to wear. He couldn't understand why it was so difficult to spot until he realized he had more purple shirts that were really necessary for one person. That and he was finding it hard to concentrate with Raphael glaring at him from the unmade bed.

"You know you could help, instead of just lying there," Magnus muttered, too intent on getting dressed on time rather than having to deal with Raphael's tantrum. Magnus hadn't asked him to show up unannounced or to pass judgement on his life choices but if he had to be there, he figured Raphael should at least try to make himself useful. He pulled out a shirt and held it to his bare chest as he spun around. It wasn't the one he'd been looking for but it was okay. "What about this one?"

Sitting with his back to the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle and arms folded tight across his chest, Raphael's scowl matched perfectly with his generally pissed off aura. "No," he bit out, then seemed to soften a little. "Not if you're wearing those jeans. Which you shouldn't be. Being that you shouldn't be going anywhere tonight."

Magnus sighed more at Raphael's tiresome mother-hen routine than the dismissal of his fashion sense, and turned away replacing the shirt and making the hangers screech again. "I'm not getting into this with you."

"Well, you need to get into it with someone. Should I call Ragnor? See what he has to say about it?" Magnus would have laughed but he knew Raphael would, so he shot a look over his shoulder that was murderous enough that Raphael wilted, knowing he'd gone too far. "I don't like it. Any of it."

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this." Magnus was exasperated, and just a bit of a liar. He knew full well why Raphael was so against his new arrangement with Alec but he'd be damned if he was going to bring it up.

Raphael barked out a laugh. "Yes, you do."

"It's just dinner, Raphael."

"It's dinner with a client. Or someone who should have stayed a client. This whole stupid arrangement is going to blow up in your face, Magnus. I just know it is."

Magnus rolled his eyes and considered maybe wearing something red instead. "Well, then you'll be able to say, 'I told you so', when it does. Although I don't see why it should. I'm having great no-strings-attached sex with a man who isn't terrible company. What's not to like?"

"I'll tell you what's not to like." Raphael scooted to the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the floor, his elbows on his knees and counted off all Magnus's bad decisions on his fingers, one by one. "First, you say you don't want to take any clients, then you change your mind and say you'll do it the once. Then, the guy becomes a regular. Then," each _then_ increased with intensity as he went on. "**_Then_**, the guy starts coming to you direct instead of through me, which was for your protection I might add. Then, you drop him as a client and start fucking him for free?" Magnus opened his mouth to respond but clearly Raphael wasn't done. "Then you start going out to dinner like you're dating or something? Can you not see how I might be worried? Don't you think this is history repeating itself?"

Magnus had been ready to let it go up until that point but Raphael had taken it too far. Rounding on him, Magnus pointed his finger. "Don't."

"This is exactly what happened with Sebastian."

"_Don't_—" Magnus's breath caught in his chest and for a moment he thought he was going to choke before his his lungs started working again and he managed to speak without screaming. "This is nothing like that," he rasped out. "And don't you speak that name in my house."

Raphael, at least, had the decency to look apologetic even though he didn't seem inclined to back down. "It might not be, but can't you see where I'm coming from."

Magnus shook his head and turned back to start assaulting his shirts again. "They're nothing alike."

"Aren't they? You telling me this guy doesn't have a temper, 'cause that's not how it sounded when you called on Monday."

Magnus gritted his teeth and winced, knowing Raphael couldn't see him. "Alec didn't hurt me. He didn't even yell. He was just in a bad mood."

"Bad enough to insult you. And don't act like the worse thing about what happened to you before was physical. It took years for your head to get straight after that prick—"

"Yes, thank you!" Magnus glared over his shoulder. "I can remember just fine."

"Do you? I'm worried, Magnus. Really worried."

There was something in Raphael's voice, something so vulnerable and genuine, that Magnus sighed, all the fight going out of his body and he went over to the bed, sitting close enough to his friend that their thighs and shoulders were welded together.

"You have to listen to me," Magnus said gently. "I know I said would only see this guy the once, but that was because I wasn't sure what to expect. If he had been just another john, then there was no way in hell I would have offered to see him again. And when he sent that stupid email asking for another appointment, it was my decision to contact him direct. You read it. You know there was no pressure from him. And the same thing applies to this whole friends with benefits deal. He didn't ask for this, I offered. I didn't feel right taking his money, and things are just too complicated with my job. But I like him. He's a nice guy. Who I want to have sex with. This has never been, and will never be, like it was with Seb—that man. He won't hurt me."

Magnus thought that he couldn't make himself any plainer, that he had said all he needed to say to get Raphael to understand.

That was until Raphael turned to look at him, shaking his head and looking resigned. "You don't get it," he said. "I'm not worried about him hurting you. I see the way you look when you talk about him. God, don't you hear yourself? You're going to fall for him, Magnus. You're going to fall for him and he's going to break your heart."

Magnus wanted to argue, wanted to make some kind of a joke about Raphael telling them that he didn't have a heart, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he smiled sadly, leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Raphael's cheek and stood up and went back to the wardrobe saying, "In that case you better help me pick something so I can look good when it happens," adding quietly enough that Rapheal wouldn't hear, "Because I think you're already a little late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Lambs!  
Hope that one was okay! 
> 
> SPOILER-ISH...  
**There'll be more about the whole Sebastian situation later in the fic but he won't be making an appearance as I'm hoping to keep away from the deepdarkangst as much as possible, just in case you were worried.**
> 
> I hope you're all doing alright, washing your hands and staying in. I know a ton of people are getting locked down so if you fancy some M/M books to keep you occupied, just let me know. I have most of mine on KU if you're that way inclined also. I'm Alex Jane on the 'Zon an FB and AlexJaneWrites on other social media so you can find me there if you need anything.
> 
> I'll have more for you on Monday-ish...it's kinda hard to write at the moment but I'm going to do my damnedest to keep going. I can't do much but if I can take your minds of everything for five minutes then that's a good a reason as any to keep trucking as long as I can.
> 
> As always your kudos and comments mean the world to me. Seriously. (3k hits, my dudes!)
> 
> Stay safe, Angels xxx


	22. Silkworms awake and eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a date...no matter what Alec tells himself x

No matter how many times been told himself that this wasn't a date—it was just two guys going out to eat like he would with any of his other friends—it still didn't seem to stop Alec's palms from sweating as he waited outside the busy restaurant. Probably because when he went out with his other friends for a bite after work, he wouldn't take them back to a hotel afterwards and fuck them senseless.

Not that fucking was on the table. Yet. He and Magnus had done plenty of other stuff which probably counted in a divorce court. But Magnus had always insisted that '_that_' didn't have to be the end game and reassured Alec that some guys never wanted to do it, ever, and they had plenty of time to work up to it if it was something Alec wanted to try. Not that it hadn't been on Alec's mind almost constantly since the first time he saw Magnus naked—and oh my god, he really need to stop thinking about that when he was stood out on the street. And definitely before the man in question arrived.

He'd managed to mostly pull himself together by the time Magnus showed up. He wasn't late but looked as if he had been hurrying the same. The way Magnus ran his eyes up Alec's body as he said hello left Alec feeling a little breathless and second-guessing whether his impression that this wasn't a date had been wrong all along.

"You look nice," Alec said, then winced at the fact he sounded so awkward.

But Magnus beamed and made an abortive step closer before remembering where they were asking about before settling into a contented smile. "You don't look so bad yourself, Alexander. Shall we?"

Alec nodded and followed Magnus's open gesture to the front of the restaurant. The place was pretty full for a Tuesday, the crowd giving an extra cosy feeling to the space, which was already homely with its bright yellow walls, and leafy plants in every available corner. There was music playing and sounds of laughter, although both were eclipsed by the wonderful smell of food and spices that filled the place.

When Alec had suggested that they meet up, Magnus had picked the place simply from Alec answering "sure" when Magnus had asked him if he liked spicy, so he figured that Magnus had eaten there before. When they stepped inside the glowing warm room, it seemed that he'd probably been there more regularly than for just Taco Tuesdays. As Magnus stripped off his jacket, a couple of the servers waved over at him, and one of the barmen abandoned his order to slip out and rush over to take Magnus in a friendly embrace.

"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes." The big man said before letting him go. He didn't even wait for an introduction before he stuck his hand out to Alec, saying, "Enrique."

"Alec" he replied with some slight trepidation that Enrique was going to drag him into a bear hug and crack a rib. The guy looked big enough to do it too.

"How's that brother of yours? Still getting into trouble?"

Magnus laughed. "He's good. Going through an Asian phase right now."

Enrique frowned at the way Magnus rolled his eyes and looked stern. "Hey, nothing wrong with that. Although it's your dad's specialty so…" they both made a face that had Alec wondering what the hell was going on but the private conversation was over in a second and Enrique slapped Magnus on the shoulder and smiled wide. "Just you two tonight? I've got a quiet table near to back in Maria's section, so she'll take care of you."

"Thanks," Magnus said, slapping him back. "See you later, yes?"

"Absolutely. Oh and try the chiles en nogada. Leo is in the kitchen tonight."

Enrique walked away, signaling to one of the girls who took his place, smiling a welcome and chatting to Magnus as they got settled at their table. When she finally left to fetch their drinks, Alec leaned over the table and said, "I'd ask you if you come here often but…"

Magnus grinned. "Enrique's a family friend, so yeah, I might have been here once or twice."

Alec nodded, not quite sure how to keep the conversation going and thinking he'd blown it when he blurted out, "So, you have a brother?"

Magnus looked like he was caught in the headlights for a second, before nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, he, um…he worked here for a while."

It was awkward. Mostly as they never talked about anything personal. Stuff they liked or disliked, movies, music, sports but not details about family or friends or details of their work. It might have been weird but it seemed to be a silent agreement that those things were off limits. Plus, Alec didn't think it was unreasonable of him not to want to discuss his ex-wife and kids moments after getting his rocks off.

"Was that before his Asian phase?"

Alec must have looked as perplexed and pained repeating that expression as he felt, given the way Magnus laughed. "Oh, god, that must have sounded really awful out of context. Ragnor is chef. Restaurateur really now I guess. He has a couple of places just down the coast and a catering company. He took over from our dad when he retired, although the catering side is all his idea."

"So I'm guessing the Asian thing is—"

"Food, yeah. Not whatever you might have been thinking." Magnus smirked across the table and Alec could feel the heat in his cheeks.

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, I have a brother too. Younger. He works with me."

"Construction, right?" Magnus sounded almost nervous.

Alec tilted his head. "Yeah. I'm his boss which I guess could be awkward but it seems to work out okay."

Magnus chuckled and shook his head. "I couldn't work for Ragnor. We'd kill each other within a week. Hot plates at dawn."

"No plans to quit teaching and don an apron, then?"

"I'm afraid the culinary gene skipped me entirely. I like good food and I know the theory. Ragnor says I have natural palette, whatever that means. But I can't make toast without screwing it up for some reason. It's safer for everyone for me to stick with academia."

Alec was saved from blurting out that he would cook for Magnus sometime, that he made a mean steak sandwich, by Marie showing up with a beer for him and something fruity and frighteningly alcoholic for Magnus. When she pulled the notepad from her apron and held up her pencil expectantly, Alec didn't even bother picking up the menu, even when Magnus frowned at him.

He just smiled and shrugged. "I trust you. Let's see that natural palette."

Magnus raised his eyebrows and smirked right back. "All right. Prepare to be dazzled."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweetpeas, I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update. With everything going on it all got a bit much and writing has just not been happening. I'm starting to get my shit together though, and hopefully I will be posting from now on as I was before, if not more frequently, as I'd really love to get this finished.  
I'm really hoping you're all okay and well, and staying inside, without getting too overwhelmed by it all.
> 
> I hope you liked the ch. More soon ♥ And Hi! *waves* to all the new subscribers! Thanks so much for joining us!
> 
> Kudos, comments and questions always welcome ♥ Hope you have a great Monday xx


	23. Safflowers bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus takes a vacation.

Spring break comes as it always does, with a sense of relief and overblown expectation. Usually Magnus would sit around in his underwear, prepping for the next semester and drinking far too much. This year though, he'd been informed that he wouldn't be left to his own devices as a family vacation was in order.

Which is how he ended up on the the coast for a week. His parents found a house to rent that was big enough for everyone, and he was given a date and time to meet them without anyone asking if he already had plans. Not that he would pass up any chance to be with them, not after the year they'd had.

He spent his days alternately lazing on the beach, drinking far too much at night with Reese, Vanessa, and Tessa, playing board games with his overly competitive nieces and nephews when their parents wanted a date night, and spending slow afternoons antiquing with his parents. It wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind when he thought about his ideal vacation but it wasn't far off. And it was definitely what he needed.

The only really sucky part about the whole experience was missing out on seeing Alec for seven days. Which sounded ridiculous when he'd first thought it, even more so when he'd expressed his displeasure—even though he'd played it down considerably—to Alec the last time he'd seen him. But then Alec had gone and made a pouty face that wasn't completely exaggerated and somehow they'd ended up staying overnight together at the motel the night before Magnus had to leave. It had been fun and they had laughed—and jerked each other off—a lot, mocking budget porn while they ate pizza from the box on the bed, talked about sexual fantasies and stupid stuff until they'd fallen asleep. Alec had blown him in the morning and Magnus returned the favor in the shower. They didn't say goodbye like lovers but it was a close thing. Magnus had pecked Alec on the cheek, turning away from Alec's wide vulnerable eyes before either one of them could apologize and try to take it back like a coward.

Alec didn't seem that upset about the way they'd parted though. He didn't try to stop their steady stream of text messages and sending the odd photo. Magnus sent him shots of the beach, the ugliest lamp he'd ever seen in a thrift store they went to, and him sunbathing naked on his balcony. Alec sent back a picture of sewage lines in a muddy trench, his lone houseplant which looked like it had died from lack of water, and the outline of his erection in his suit pants. That made Magnus cough out a laugh and nearly spill his iced tea on the lecture notes he was scribbling down.

"What are you chuckling at?" Tessa didn't even look up from the chunky wedge of paper in her hand. Neither of them could get away from work entirely but were at least able to do it in the sun, sipping cold drinks in their swimwear. The document Tessa was working on was as thick as a book but somehow she managed too keep one half of the pages folded behind it in one hand while she marked up what he could only assume were errors with a thick highlighter pen. He remembered some vague joke about lawyers needing strong hands to squeeze money out of people but dismissed it. She was his sister after all and not like that. Plus she'd throttle him so…

"Nothing. A meme someone sent me." They were laying out on the deck, just the two of them for once while everyone else was at the beach. It was nice. Companionable. It reminded him of when they were kids, and they would set up next to each other on the dining room table to do their homework, the only noise being Ragnor in the kitchen, clanking pans, occasionally cussing when he cut himself, or interrogating the pastry like a madman when it didn't do what he wanted it to do.

"No one makes a noise like that over ameme," Tessa said, like it was a fact. "And what friend exactly? Because your phone hasn't stopped beeping for the last four days. You're worse than the kids."

"You're worse than the kids," Magnus mumbled under his breath, ignoring her.

She arched an eyebrow at him and lay her document down on her thighs. "Don't make me come over there."

Magnus laughed, it was such a very Tessa thing for her to say. Her and Ragnor were that much older than him, and their parents worked such long hours when they were younger, that they were rather parental themselves for siblings. Plus Tessa liked to boss them both around, being the oldest.

"You know Ragnor and mom are taking bets on who you're dating?"

It was Magnus's turn to use the arched eyebrow. "Well the jokes on them. I'm not dating anyone." The way Tessa scoffed and picked up her papers again, kind of got his back up and he added indignantly, "I'm not!"

"Sure, Jan."

"Hey."

"You're so obvious. And besides, the bet isn't about _if_ you're dating. It's about when you're going to bring the guy home. It seems pretty serious."

Magnus might have squawked at the thought. He'd been trying not to think about that very thing. But obviously he wasn't doing a very good job keeping his fantasies to himself. But then he figured as long as he wasn't leaking any of his feelings when he was actually in Alec's presence, he didn't care what people thought.

"It's not," he said, trying to sound casual about it. "Serious, I mean."

"You've always been such a terrible liar."

"I mean it. I guess, well, I do like the guy."

Tessa put down the papers again and looked over, this time with a concerned expression. "So what's the problem?"

Magnus huffed out laugh. He wasn't quite sure where to start. The fact that his new beaustarted out paying him for sex, or that he didn't actually know that much about him because of how casual they were keeping things, or the fact that Alec was completely in the closet as far as he knew and probably wouldn't be seen out with him in public, let alone hold his hand and meet his parents.

"We're keeping it casual. Plus, he's not that into me." It wasn't a lie but he sure as hell knew better than to tell her the truth. He still hadn't forgiven her for tattling on him when he'd accidentally over fed the goldfish when he was five.

"Dump him." It was the only relationship advice she ever gave. Probably why she was still single eight years after her divorce. "He's an idiot if he can't see how great you are. You deserve better."

Magnus smiled. "You wouldn't say that if saw the picture he just sent me."

Tessa laughed and he had to wonder how often she got to sound like that. "You know you need a license to distribute pornography, right?"

Magnus smirked. "I'll get my lawyer right on that."

She shook her head and went back to work, although she was still smiling when she added, "You should find yourself a nice girl. Settle down."

That always got a barking laugh out of Magnus which seemed to please his sister immensely that she could still make him do that, even when he threw a cushion at her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My angels!  
It's been a while.  
I'm still just about hanging in there, as is this fic!  
Back to writing this week — slowly — so I'm going to start updating again — slowly. Lord knows when it'll be done though so don't get too excited ☺️
> 
> I hope you're all okay and made it through last year mostly unscathed ❤️


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